lilyleia78: Teal'c smiling (SG1: Teal'c)
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Title: Five Jaffa Fairy Tales as told to Teal'c of Chulak
Fandom: SG-1
Pairing: Gen - unless you count various Gou'ald pairings
Rating: PG-13
Note: Four fairy tales of the Gou'ald/Jaffa with one ancient Egyptian tale mentioned so I could go to bed and still make my deadline. Slightly disturbing in the tradition of both Earth-bound fairty tales and the Gou'ald in general.

Side note: Has anyone else noticed that SGA has the best crack? ♥

Five Jaffa Fairy Tales

1. Surprisingly enough, The Tale of the Two Brothers seemed to have survived the passage of time on both Earth and Chulak relatively unchanged.

2. Setesh’s new clothes

Once in a small system a dishonorable man from a distant planet made a promise to the god Setesh. He guaranteed that he could produce robes that would outshine even the sun god Ra himself. Instead of immediately striking down the man who dared such arrogance, Setesh hired the man. For Setesh was a petty god, and jealousy had blinded him to the true divinity of his god.

The so-called tailor locked himself in the lavish set of rooms provided by Setesh for months, making more and more outrageous requests for wealth and luxury until (on the threat of a visit from Setesh’s First Prime) he declared the first robe finished.

The shady gentleman proudly marched into Setesh’s throne room and presented…an empty hanger. Setesh’s eyes narrowed dangerously at the robe maker but the man spoke before the god could take any action.

“Now I must warn you, my lord, that only those of great faith can see the robes. I trust everyone here can appreciate their beauty,” the schemer joked. And Setesh’s loyal Jaffa immediately began praising the beauty of the garment.

Setesh was confused; he didn’t see anything. Perhaps it only worked for believers and not the divine themselves. So, with the help of his Jaffa, Setesh donned the robe he could not see and set out to test the faith of his worshipers.

There was silence as he made his way through the nearest village. No one was commenting on the glory of his new clothes, nor were they shocked at his apparent nakedness. Unable to decide what that meant, Setesh was ready to head back home when a young voice cried out from behind him. “But he’s completely naked!”

Setesh quickly realized his mistake; how could he possibly doubt his own senses? He turned where he stood and struck down the child and his family. As a reward for helping him see the light, he made their deaths quick and painless.

The dishonorable ‘robe maker’ was not so lucky. For many months, his screams echoes down the hills, reminding Setesh’s worshipers of the dangers of trying to deceive a god.

3. The Host and the Pea.

Once upon a time, on a planet far from the borders of our Lord Apophis’s territory, there lived a lesser god, Imhotep, whose loyalties to the true god were sure and unwavering. As a reward, our Lord Apophis wished to find an appropriate host for his loyal servant’s wife, Ronfrenofert.

Jaffa in the service of both our Lord and Imhotep were quickly dispatched to gather the most beautiful and worthy candidates. Unswervingly devoted to her god, Ronfrenofert insisted that the honor of choosing a host be left to Apophis himself. But how was he to choose the most pleasing host for his stalwart servant?

Sy’noc, First Prime of Apophis, devised a cunning test to pick the maiden worthy of hosting a goddess. A single pea was placed beneath the towering stack of mattresses each candidate was to sleep upon. In the morning, each maid was stripped and checked for signs of abuse. Much to the delight of Imhotep, a beautiful raven-haired maid was found with one tiny, pea-shaped bruise upon her skin.

Ronfrenofert took possession of the young woman that very hour and there was much rejoicing among the devout as their sovereigns were reunited again in the flesh.

4. The Three First Primes from Gr’uff

There were once three brothers from the world of Gr’uff, great warriors all, whose strength and courage swiftly earned them the notice of Apophis. They were all made First Primes for their many brave deeds in battle. The youngest brother was accorded the great tribute of serving Zipacna, loyal underlord of the true god. The middle brother, stronger and wiser, served the lord Klorel. But the greatest warrior of all, the eldest, strongest, and most cunning, had the singular honor of serving as First Prime to Apophis himself.

On occasion, their masters would send the three brothers out on their own to accomplish tasks deemed too important to entrust to any other Jaffa. Once such mission was so distant that the brothers were forced to make multiple trips through the Chappa’ai, for the address they needed was not accessible from Gr’uff. Unfortunately, the last stop before reaching their target was known as a stronghold for the evil blasphemers, the Asgard. The youngest brother insisted on passing through the Chappa’ai first, alone, to test his mettle against their great enemy, and to protect his brothers if he could.

Young and too arrogant for proper caution, the First Prime of Zipacna was swiftly captured. The Asgard were anxious to make an example of such a grand prisoner, but the youngest brother promised them greater catches indeed if they were to let him live until his brothers arrived. Greedy for a richer reward, the Asgard brought him back to the gate while they waited.

When there was no sign of their younger brother’s lifeless body being shoved back through the event horizon, the middle brother stepped through, confident that he could handle anything his younger brother could. His pride proved false however as he fell into the clutches of the enemy. Overhearing their delight that his brother had been kept his word, the First Prime of Klorel wasted no time in telling them of his eldest brother’s position and imminent arrival. He was also kept alive in hopes of the ultimate prize.

However, all hope for the Asgard was lost as the First Prime of Apophis himself came through the Chappa’ai, staff weapon blazing. The younger two swiftly joined in as their brother retrieved and returned their weapons. After several minutes of concentrated blasts, only the brothers remained.

5. Beauty and the god

A long time ago, right here on Chulak, there lived a great warrior, widowed but blessed with a beautiful daughter. Nefret was a devout and humble woman. She loved her father, as a daughter should, and doted on him at every occasion. Each time duty called him away, Nefret would become sick with fear and worry. As a promise to return from the war with Sokar, Nefret’s father pledged to bring back a token of his affections, anything at all his daughter desired.

Being a good and loving daughter, Nefret requested only a small thing – a sprig of Halimant, that she might use it to cure her father of any ills that should befall him in battle.

The father waged many battles in the name of his god, and won much glory for Apophis, but the strain on his body was great. It was a tired, battle weary man who returned through the Chappa’ai. He was nearly home when he remembered his pledge to his daughter. Unable to break a warrior’s promise, the father began the long trip back to town.

Before too long, he encountered a well tended garden he had never seen before, covered in many rows of the very herb he sought. Exhausted and grateful for this gift, the warrior took a small sprig and turned toward home.

Out of the night a shape loomed, hideous and awesome in the moon shadows. The monster stayed out of sight, but the warrior recognized the glow in the eyes and the burning from an outstretched palm and knew his god.

“Forgive me, my lord. I did not know it was you,” the warrior cried, prostrating himself before his master but showing a warrior’s spirit and never fearing the death he knew he deserved.

Compassion drove our lord Apophis to spare the life of his servant in exchange for nothing more than his due, the loyal daughter of the warrior’s house. He ordered the father to keep the secret of his identity from his child. The warrior agreed gladly to this great honor and immediately sent his daughter to their god.

Nefret’s beauty and obedience greatly pleased her lord, and Apophis doted on her, bringing her many treasures from across his worlds even as he used darkness to keep his true identity from her. Each night Nefret presented herself to her lord to express her gratitude, but her heart remained heavy. Enraged at his inability to bring joy to the maiden, Apophis demanded that she explain her sadness.

“Forgive me, my lord,” Nefret began, “I do wish to please you, but I am afraid that I will never be able to give you my heart. It belongs to our god, Apophis, and I cannot forsake him.”

Apophis was filled with joy at this revelation and stepped into light to reveal himself. Nefret instantly fell to her knees, overwhelmed with terror and love. “Arise, my beloved. You shall be honored above all women as my consort and shall carry only the most precious of my kin.”

Nefret carried many children for Apophis and Amaunet and brought much honor to her gods and her father.

The complete list of my Stargate fiction can be found here.

Date: 2009-01-22 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serpentine85.livejournal.com
These are very cunning pieces; deliciously satirical! Great work here :)

Date: 2009-02-03 04:52 pm (UTC)
ext_1941: (Default)
From: [identity profile] sg-fignewton.livejournal.com
Oh, these are excellent! I love the twist on our fairytales, although I'm a bit saddened, I think, that they're all very thorough indoctrination by the Goa'uld. I'd like to hope the Jaffa had some fairytales of their own, somewhere...

Favorite bit is definitely Setesh being "kind" enough to make the deaths of the boy and his family painless, as a favor. Brrrr.

Date: 2009-02-03 10:36 pm (UTC)
ext_1941: (Default)
From: [identity profile] sg-fignewton.livejournal.com
Oh, yes, that would be great!

Not that you have to wait another three months before writing it... ;)

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