lilyleia78: Close up of a lily in black and white (Domestic Bliss)
[personal profile] lilyleia78
Fandom: SG-1
Prompts: Five things only Harry Maybourne knows about SG-1 (x's 2), Five things a member of SG-1 admitted to his/her teammate(s) around a campfire while off world.
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, Sam/Teal'c
Rating: G to PGish
Note:  I wrote three responses to [profile] sg1_five_thingsthis time around.  I think I may hate my Adam/Tommy story, but I have completed a Jack/Sky for [profile] stupidboysfest that I'll post soon.

Five Things only Harry Maybourne knows about the members of SG-1
 
Teal’c
 
Every chance he gets, Teal’c wanders into Colorado Springs and finds his way to an abandoned building. He always makes a quick stop to pick up some candy bars and an occasional small gift. As the years pass, the young girl he meets there grows into a young woman with kind eyes and a quick smile. 
 
Maybourne is no longer in any position to watch on the day Teal’c brings along a puffy-eyed Cassie Frasier. Not even he knows that Teal’c quietly left long before the girls were done talking.
 
Sam
 
When Major Samantha Carter talks to herself she is actually talking to Jolinar. Sometimes she doesn’t even realize herself, but it’s obvious if you know her history. It started, more or less, after the death of Martouf.
 
Days after the chaos had died down Sam returned home. Once inside she sat in her dark living room and very quietly began to speak. The agent on duty never did know who she was talking to, but Maybourne was sure as soon as he heard her talking about the survival of Lantash.
 
The Major spent the next few hours working her way through their shared grief and Sam’s confused feelings for her CO. Maybourne always wished he knew what else happened that day, because something about the death of a Tok’ra helped Sam to bring her feelings into focus. He has the feeling that knowledge could have been useful to him.
 
Jack
 
Sometimes Colonel Jack O’Neill wakes up with a name on his lips, spoken in anguish. Sometimes the name is Charlie. Sometimes it’s Kawalsky, Teal’c, or Carter. Too often, it’s Daniel. On those nights Jack’s journey through his house can be tracked by the lights: bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom again.
 
On most of these nights he’ll pick up the phone and dial six numbers, but it’s rare that he’ll complete the call. There is one thing Maybourne is completely certain of though. On those occasions when Jack does allow himself to push the last digit the call is always answered.
 
Daniel
 
Nothing on-planet pulls Dr. Daniel Jackson to complete and total wakefulness faster then the sound of Jack’s voice. 
Maybourne can’t speculate about his behavior off-world, but at home Daniel usually wakes slowly. He sets the alarm extra-early so he can laze around in bed through a couple of snoozes and won’t speak, even to himself, until he’s one cup of coffee into the day.
 
But if the phone rings in the middle of the night, Daniel answers it before the first shrill chime has finished and all traces of fatigue are instantly banished from his voice. He’ll stay on the phone, talking about everything or nothing at all, for as long as it takes.
 
In the morning he’ll never mention it, even if his team leader calls him a sleepyhead and teases him about late nights. Daniel will just roll his eyes and keep up his end of the Jack-and-Daniel show without comment, without complaint, every single time.
 
SG-1
 
Despite all his threats and bluster, there is almost nothing Maybourne can do to hurt SG-1. They have friends in very high places. The Asgard respect O’Neill. The Tok’ra have a soft spot for Carter. Teal’c is a leader and role model among the Jaffa of Chulak and elsewhere. And Jackson, well everyone loves Daniel. 
 
The only comfort Maybourne can take from this particular piece of information is that SG-1 has yet to realize the power they could wield. For once, he’s glad for their short-sighted moral convictions.
 
The Lighthearted Version
 
1-Every member of SG-1 sings in the shower. Maybourne occasionally wonders if they harmonize in the locker rooms on base. Of course, this information is completely useless if what you’re after is advanced alien technology or a way to wipe that smug smile off a certain Colonel’s face. At least he’ll be the first to know if the SGC’s flagship team is taken over by a hive mind…again. 
 
2-Every time Jackson goes off world Jack and Sam sneak into Daniel’s apartment. They have been gradually and systematically replacing his wardrobe with items of their own choosing. Mostly they give his old stuff away, but Maybourne’s pretty sure they burned the velvet pants.
 
3-SG-1 is completely obsessed with the Harry Potter books. Teal’c, Daniel, and Jack freely admitted to this, but Sam tried to deny it. She teased them mercilessly until the day Jack suggested that maybe Hermione and Harry should end up together. Then she proceeded to give a ten minute speech on why Hermione belongs with Ron. Privately, Maybourne agrees with her.
 
4-The team owns matching underwear. For their first Christmas together Major Carter bought all of her teammates a pair of Hello Kitty boxers. Maybourne thinks he’s the only one who knows that she has an identical pair that she wears to bed. Then again, for all he knows the whole thing was O’Neill’s idea. He probably makes them all wear them every Friday as team-building exercise.
 
5-They also have matching tattoos in the same pattern as the patches they wear on their arms. Sam and Teal’c have theirs on their right hips. Jack and Daniel’s are on the left. Technically, Maybourne could try to pass this off as a breach of security, but then he’d never find out what Dr. Jackson had put on his butt while they were there.

Five things a member of SG-1 admitted to his/her teammate(s) around the campfire off-world.
 
Jack
 
“I love makeup sex,” Jack announced apropos of nothing shortly after the Enkaran goodbye feast had died down. Sam stifled a groan and excused herself before Daniel’s smile became so large that she’d lose even the pretense of plausible deniability.  
 
Daniel
 
“Jack and I are married.”
 
“What?!” Jack’s bellowed response effectively drowned out any comment Sam or Teal’c may have made. This was fine, since Sam hadn’t the faintest idea how to react to that revelation.
 
Daniel quickly and succinctly explained that the ceremony that they had thought was about bonding their two worlds in treaty was actually about bonding Jack and Daniel. Which effectively made them married, at least on P3X-597.
 
“Jeez, Daniel ask a guy next time,” Jack nagged. “Or at least give a guy a chance to do the asking.”
 
“Major Carter,” Teal’c interjected. “Perhaps you would accompany me on a perimeter check.”
 
“Sure, Teal’c,” Sam answered, grateful for an excuse to give the boys some privacy. “No problem. Let’s give the newlyweds some alone time.” Two pairs of eyes gave her a disapproving glare, but neither tried to stop her.
 
Sam
 
“Teal’c has a really attractive butt,” Sam said in desperation. Although she was stating a fact, Sam’s main goal had been to stop the Jack-and-Daniel snark fest before she pulled out her zat and zapped them both into oblivion.
 
Teal’c bowed his head to her and answered, “Thank you Major Carter. Your posterior is aesthetically pleasing to me as well.”
 
Sam ignored the slack-jawed looks her other teammates were giving her in favor of smiling at the Jaffa. She was beginning to think that maybe it was her turn to give the boys something to pretend not to notice.
 
Teal’c
 
“I wish to learn the Tau’ri way of courtship,” Teal’c announced shortly after Carter had left to check the perimeter.
 
“Oh. Any special reason?” Jack asked teasingly.
 
“Yes.”
 
After a few moments of silence, Daniel decided that was about all they were going to get from their friend. “I’ll find you some books about it when we get home,” he offered.
 
“Forget the books. Just grab her and lay one on her,” Jack interjected. “This is how you do it!” 
 
The Colonel then proceeded to use a very willing Daniel to demonstrate his wooing technique. Teal’c made careful observation and used the advice to his advantage later that night.
 
Cameron
 
“I’ve heard rumors that SG-1 is an incestuous little group,” Cameron Mitchell cautiously revealed his first night off-world with his new team.
 
Teal’c merely tilted his head quizzically. Sam and Daniel were laughing too hard to make any response at all. For his own sanity, Mitchell decided to take that as a no.
 
 
A complete list of my Stargate fiction, including my 5 things responses can be found here.

Date: 2008-09-16 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ingridmr.livejournal.com
OMG, this whole thing is too funny! I gotta say though, "Thank you Major Carter. Your posterior is aesthetically pleasing to me as well." is definitely my favourite line. You gotta love how Teal'c shocks his teammates! Thanx for the thoroughly amusing read!

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