lilyleia78: SG-1 backlit by active gate (SG1: Team)
[personal profile] lilyleia78
Title: I is for Inventive
Fandom: SG-1
Pairing: Team, gen
Genre: friendship, humor
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1011
Summary: SG-1 keeps the base and themselves entertained during a lockdown.
Note: Happy Gen Day! Written for [personal profile] fignewton's Gen fic day, being held today in honor of our favorite linguist's birthday. Ironically (or perhaps fittingly) Jack actually somewhat took over my contribution.

Be sure to enjoy the rest of Team Alphabet Soup

I is for Inventive

For the first time in the history of the program, the SGC was in a lockdown completely not of their own making.

“No really, Sir. It’s not our fault,“ Jack assured General Hammond. And it was true for once. It wasn't 'not their fault' because how were they to know invisible aliens had followed them home or who could predict the effects of a black hole on an open stargate? It was really not their fault.

Because it was NORAD's fault.

And since the way out of Stargate Command led through NORAD, they were stuck.

NORAD was on lockdown for reasons they refused to share with the SGC. Technically, Jack suspected that his most junior janitor had the clearance to be privy to NORAD's deepest darkest secrets, but no one who was locked down at NORAD had the clearance to know that they - the SGC - had the clearance. It was all very confusing, but what it boiled down to was that the SGC stayed in the dark about why they weren't allowed to leave the mountain. Jack strongly suspected a mass outbreak of the clap, but…

By some whim of fate, Colonel Jack O'Neill was the ranking officer on base when they became cut off from the surface. He'd immediately contacted his commanding officer. “Want me to go up there and flash around my shiny clearance until someone can tell me what’s going on?” he asked with probably more glee than with which Hammond was comfortable.

“No, Colonel, I do not want you to break cover by flashing your security clearance for details. I’ll flash my credentials at their superior officers and let you know if you need to be worried.” He'd also promptly banned any personnel from going through the gate. The General seemed to think it would be best to keep the back door locked until the front one was secure again. Jack argued furiously against it, but mostly for form's sake. He did actually see the common sense behind Hammond's logic, even before Carter and Daniel nagged him about it. Not that that stopped the nagging.

Which meant that Jack had a base full of nervous civilians and bored Marines left to their own devices for the foreseeable future. Never the best idea. After three hours of lockdown, with the first rumbling of unrest coming from all corners, Daniel decided to appoint Teal'c morale officer for the base.

“Why Teal’c?” Jack asked, not-so-secretly hurt that he hadn’t been first choice.

“He has the least amount of responsibility on base,” Carter explained reasonably.

“And he’s the least likely to accidentally blow us up,” Daniel added with all the diplomacy of a truck, earning him glares from Jack and Carter.

“It was one time!” They complained in near-unison.

Teal’c and Daniel shared a grin that Jack decided was just affectionate enough to let them off the hook about it.

Jack tried not to pout too much after that. He had better things to do with his time than to make up entertainment for the kids anyway. They'd all come crawling back to him when they were stuck playing Jaffa freeze tag with real zats.

Actually, that might be cool.

Of course Teal'c had to go and ruin the whole thing by being adept at everything, including keeping up base morale. The Star Wars marathon projected onto the wall of the gate room Jack had expected. But there were also tournaments in the gym in everything from kickboxing to fencing. There were cooking classes that provided a constant buffet of snacks, coffee and real food in the mess hall. And the scientists were setting up a lecture schedule to present papers to their peers - papers that probably wouldn’t be declassified in their lifetime.

Jack was happy to see all his people so happy, but he felt aimless, strangely lost in the dull grey confines of Cheyenne Mountain. For the first time in too many weeks to count he found himself with nothing pressing to do and nowhere important to be; it was disconcerting.

Of course, the SGC morale officer extraordinaire noticed his distinct lack of morale. When lockdown reached it‘s tenth hour, with Jack picking listlessly at a piece of peach pie for dinner, his team descended on him.

"Sir," Carter greeted cheerfully. The gleam in her eye made Jack think they were up to something.

"Jack," Daniel's innocent tone did nothing to alleviate Jack's suspicious.

"O'Neill, it has come to our attention that you have availed yourself of none of he morale boosting activities we have organized," Teal said. Oh yeah, they were definitely up to something.

Jack liked it.

"That's a lie. I judged the pie contest an hour ago," he said with a pointed glance down at his plate.

"Yes, Jack, and we all appreciate the sacrifice you made in the name of keeping the base's spirits up." Daniel's tone lacked sincerity, but Jack decided to let it slide.

"It's the mark of true leadership, Daniel," he informed his friend gravely. He could practically hear the effort it was taking Carter not to roll her eyes. Daniel, of course, didn't bother to resist the urge.

"The point is," Daniel said with a scowl toward his vexing team leader, "we think we know how to raise your morale. If you're up to it."

Jack considered Carter's scheming face, Daniel's 'I'm a perfect angel' expression, and Teal'c’s stony silence and concluded, "Prank war?"

"SG-2 won't know what hit them," Carter said with a scary amount of glee. Jack was glad she was on his side.

"I owe Ferretti one," Daniel promised.

"I will acquire the superglue," Teal'c said, "Major Carter, if you could see about liberating a number of the science departments fluffiest bunnies? Daniel Jackson..."

"I've still got some of those hot vibrating stones from MR5-930 in my office," he said.

"I'll grab the purple marbles," Jack volunteered. The team scattered to their tasks, and Jack smiled around his last bite of pie.

This was going to be the best lockdown ever.


The complete list of my Stargate fiction can be found here. (Scroll down for Gen fics)

Date: 2010-07-09 01:18 am (UTC)
green_grrl: (SG1_TealcGroovy)
From: [personal profile] green_grrl
Aha ha ha ha! I LOLed a lot!

Date: 2010-07-09 05:41 am (UTC)
fignewton: (humor)
From: [personal profile] fignewton
::laughs and laughs and laughs::

I kept picking out a line to quote and then choosing another one!

Teal'c and Daniel friendship! Jack being pleased that his team was up to something! SGC janitors having more clearance than NORAD! Teal'c volunteering to get the superglue!


Date: 2010-07-11 03:29 am (UTC)
thothmes: Janet Fraiser,laughing behind her hand, "LOL" (Janet LOL)
From: [personal profile] thothmes
Hammond is wise not to let Jack go flash his clearance around.

Teal'c (as usual) rocks!

I looved Sam & Jack answering in unison that it was just the one time!

Pouty Jack is pouty.

SG-1 in a prank war is scary...and evil.

Very, very amusing.

Date: 2010-07-11 02:41 pm (UTC)
sid: (Jack is pokin')
From: [personal profile] sid
Wonderful from start to finish. :-D Such a great Jack voice, and such perfect, hilarious Teal'c, Sam and Daniel!

Date: 2010-07-11 10:13 pm (UTC)
aelfgyfu_mead: SG-1 in the infirmary (SG-1)
From: [personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead
Of course Teal'c is the most awesomest morale officer ever! (Huh: I thought the spellchecker would query "awesomest," but it doesn't.) Some classic moments!

vThey'd all come crawling back to him when they were stuck playing Jaffa freeze tag with real zats.
Actually, that might be cool.

The conference is my favorite idea, though: academics of any kind would love that. I would hate not being able to present my work!

Date: 2010-07-12 01:30 am (UTC)
aelfgyfu_mead: SG-1 in the infirmary (SG-1)
From: [personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead
You should write more about such a conference! (I don't think the IOA cares about morale!)

Date: 2011-11-23 09:11 am (UTC)
fignewton: (fic rec)
From: [personal profile] fignewton
Just had the pleasure of reccing this! :)

Date: 2011-11-23 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh my, prank war started by SG-1!!!! <3

Have you ever read Vathara's "Upon a fiery steed"? This ficlet reminded me about (some parts of) that one :DDD

Date: 2011-11-27 01:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's on ;-) (X-over with Gundam wing, and she made it a plausible one. :D Actually, she writes a *lot* of x-overs and their all good. One of my favorite ficwriters ever!)

Date: 2011-11-27 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*they're !!!! Can't believe I made that mistake *hides*

Date: 2011-11-24 01:17 am (UTC)
magibrain: This alt text intentionally left blank. (This icon intentionally left blank.)
From: [personal profile] magibrain
Poor NORAD. Considering all the times the SGC almost blew them up without telling them, I feel like they deserve a bit of muckign with the SGC's routine...

Date: 2011-12-29 02:29 am (UTC)
samantilles: (SG-1: Daniel Jubilant)
From: [personal profile] samantilles
teeheehee!! I love that all of that happened in a matter of hours! Teal'c was just waiting for the day he could project Star Wars to everyone! Wonderfully done!


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