lilyleia78: Jack looking down with a shy smile (SG1: Jack adorable)
[personal profile] lilyleia78
Title: Misfortune of the Irish
Fandom: SG-1
Pairing: Gen
Genre: five things, humor
Warnings: None
Word Count: ~ 700
Summary: Five reasons Jack hates St Patrick's Day plus one reason Sam doesn't.
Note: Written for [personal profile] zats_clear for the Five things + one meme. She left the prompt on St. Patty's Day: I'm just late getting it written. ^_^

Misfortune of the Irish

1. Ever since that trip to Ireland he'd taken the summer before senior year, even looking at green food coloring gives him a hangover headache. Carter clucks in sympathy when he whines expresses his concern and says something about how the dyes used in Ireland might be plant based and it is possible that it somehow enhances the effects and aftereffects of alcohol. Jack decides again that she's an excellent second in command

2. "It's disrespectful! You've got doctorates - plural! People shouldn't be randomly serenading you with in the halls."

"You're just jealous of other people calling me Danny," Daniel argues cheerfully, waving at a group of marines singing Danny Boy at the top of their lungs as they pass.

"It's my pet name and I earned it." Jack glares darkly at the passing soldiers, who take a leaf from Daniel's book and ignore him.

"Don't worry Jack. It's just this one time. I promise not to respect them in the morning."
Jack doesn't flip him off, just shoots him an ineffectual scowl and walks away.

Daniel shouts down the hall after him, "But baby, those random strangers meant nothing to me." And this time Jack does flip him off over his shoulder, ignoring the way Daniel's laughter echoes merrily off the hallway and follows him all the way to the elevator.

3. Not only is it hard to find someone on a military base not wearing any green at all, but Jack's not allowed to pinch them anyway. "Sexual harassment and conduct unbecoming!" Jack's expresses his outrage loudly and to the only person who'll listen to him. "That's the best part of the holiday." Especially since Ireland had ruined green beer for him forever.

Teal'c reads the memo carefully before arching an elegant eyebrow at his friend. "You may attempt to pinch me."

Jack really doesn't like the way Teal'c says 'attempt' so he smiles and waves away the offer. "Nah, the others might get jealous."

4. "For crying out loud! Whose brilliant idea was it to make boiled cabbage underground?"

Jack immediately retreats to medical. "Isn't making that stuff down here a health hazard?" he asks Dr. Fraiser seriously.

"It's not a closed environment, Colonel, we have plenty of ventilation. Besides," Janet's voice is mild but she's got that steely eyed look that usually leads to Jack being poked by something or somewhere he doesn't want being poked. "I like corned beef and cabbage."

"Of course you do, you're practically a leprechaun." Jack thinks it's a witty retort himself, but he's not stupid enough to say it loud enough to be heard. He likes having no new holes and nothing in the ones God gave him.

5. "Leprechauns, sir! They were everywhere." Jack shudders visibly and looks around to his team for support.

"Jack, they weren't actually leprechauns." Daniel is holding his notebook suspiciously high over his face, but Jack can hear the laughter he's hiding.

"Although the people on MR2-495 were unusually small," Carter sounds thoughtful, but that could just be the way she's biting her lower lip while she talks.

"As well as possessing an uncommon fondness for green." There you go, he can always count on Teal'c to back him up.

"But the worst part," Jack assures General Hammond, "is was the way they kept trying to swipe our stuff."

That his team can agree on. They were mildly traumatized by the quick hands of their small hosts, but Jack is the only one who actually develops leprechaun phobia from it.

1. Sam loves Saint Patrick's Day. A holiday that doesn't require her to take time off from work is the best holiday ever in her book.

And while Sam doesn't exactly take pleasure in her CO's discomfort, there's something to be said for a whole day just begging to be used for payback. A couple of phone calls and Teal'c and Daniel join her in mysteriously choosing blue BDUs on the one day they really should wear green. The whole team gets an entire day of watching the Colonel's hands twitch every time they're in pinching distance. You'd think it'd get old, but it really doesn't. Besides, green is her favorite color.

***
The complete list of my Stargate fiction can be found here.

Date: 2010-07-29 12:03 pm (UTC)
zats_clear: (good idea)
From: [personal profile] zats_clear
that was wonderful! "attempt"...roflmao! and cabbage underground, eegads! Sam is awesome in her subtle methods of CO torture. and planet of leprechauns! well, it had to happen sometime!

thanks for this. we are moving today and to have a nice giggle first thing before the trucker shows up was awesome

Date: 2010-07-29 03:22 pm (UTC)
fignewton: (jack oy)
From: [personal profile] fignewton
::giggles::

Teal'c reads the memo carefully before arching an elegant eyebrow at his friend. "You may attempt to pinch me."

and

Daniel is holding his notebook suspiciously high over his face

and all of it, really - the casual amusement in Daniel's reactions and Sam's idea of the perfect holiday and deliberately tweaking Jack with the blue BDUs and Janet the Leprechain, hee! Oh, so much fun. :)

Date: 2010-08-02 02:23 am (UTC)
sid: (Jack two L's)
From: [personal profile] sid
The best part was Jack not calling Janet a leprechaun. :-D

Well, okay, it's a toss-up between that and Daniel shouting "baby" down the hall after Jack. That was pretty awesome.

Date: 2011-10-25 11:37 am (UTC)
fignewton: (jack dark and stormy mission)
From: [personal profile] fignewton
Just had the pleasure of reccing this! :)

Date: 2011-10-25 11:34 pm (UTC)
thothmes: Sam Carter head down and smiling in reaction to Jack O'Neill.  Legend: Snort! (Snort - Proving Ground)
From: [personal profile] thothmes
Tee hee! I love the idea of Jack O'Neill, of all people having (an occasionally carefully crafted) difficulty with St. Patrick's day. He better hope that he doesn't have a St. Patrick's day when both Janet and Sam are feeling the need to get his goat!

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