Bring it on Home - Part 3

[lilyleia78]

Anna didn't join them for dinner again for the rest of the week. Unfortunately, Balthazar did. Leaving Dean with no additional clues to what was wrong with Cas and no recourse to fix it. When Dean sent something through the bond - anything, irritation at Balthazar, pleasure at the food, curiosity when Cas was running late the third night in a row - Cas let it through and responded, but he never initiated anymore. The strain was making Dean irritable.

Watching Balthazar fawn all over Cas every single night was making Dean move right past irritable straight into slightly homicidal.

By the fifth night, Dean was sure the force of his grip would snap his fork in half if it wasn't some magical angelic fork. Balthazar was putting on quite the show -constantly touching Cas's chest and laughing uproariously whenever Cas said anything at all - even stupid shit like 'please pass the coleslaw.'

"It wasn't funny, jackass," Dean muttered to himself, knowing full well that both angels could hear him loud and clear.

"Maybe you just don't understand heavenly humor," Balthazar said with a smile that made Dean think words like smarmy and smug.

"It wasn't intended as a joke," Cas said. "But Dean did have trouble understanding Uriel's humor," he added helpfully.

Dean shot him a betrayed look, and left his eyes on Cas even as he answered Balthazar's accusation. "I don't have to understand heavenly humor. I understand Cas."

Affection washed over him from Cas, making them both smile.

"Hmmm," Balthazar hummed. "You have me at a disadvantage. I never get Cassie to myself anymore."

Dean turned a smirk of his own at Balthazar, but it wasn’t until Cas pushed a question at him that Dean realized he was sending satisfaction across the bond. Dean shrugged, and gently closed the bond down.

"I'm sorry you are feeling neglected Balthazar," Cas said politely, turning with what Dean fancifully imagined to be great reluctance away from Dean. "Perhaps we can…" he hesitated, glancing at Dean, "…hook up later."

Jealousy, white hot and blinding, filled Dean's senses. He turned to Cas in surprise, no idea why Cas should be experiencing such a feeling. Cas looked back at him with concern and brushed gently at their connection - the connection Dean was still holding closed.

Dean's surprise turned to shock as he realized the jealousy was all his own. He didn't want Cas spending anytime at all with Balthazar, much less hooking up with him. Shit, that attraction he'd been feeling to Cas might have been more significant than he'd first realized. "Over my dead body," he said through gritted teeth. Because he may have no chance at hell with something as pure and good as Cas, but he'd be damned if Balthazar was going to take advantage.

"Now, now," Balthazar clucked, "Who's the slave and who's the master here? Cassie is a big boy, and he can make his own decisions."

Cas brushed concern against Dean again, but Dean shook his head before answering Balthazar. "Cas doesn't know what you're suggesting and doesn't have time for your games. We're supposed to be finding my brother, remember?"

"Yes, yes." Balthazar smiled fondly Cas's direction. "He is still bit of an innocent, isn't he? I can fix that though. Give me an hour: he'll understand what I'm suggesting just fine."

Cas's head moved back and forth as he watched the exchange. "I believe it would be best if you left now, Balthazar."

Balthazar's eyebrows shot up. "Fine," he said, pushing back from the chair. "Come see me sometime tomorrow so we can…" he paused to shot a wicked grin Dean's direction, "…hook up."

Dean thought several unsavory things at Balthazar, but it was Cas who answered. "If Dean feels that strongly about it," Cas said, "I will have to decline."

Something wounded crossed over Balthazar's face over that. Dean might have felt sorry for him if he wasn't too busy internally crowing in victory. Instead he flipped Balthazar off behind Cas's back. "Bu-bye, Balthy," he said sweetly.

"And to you," Balthazar replied, recovering his composure admiringly fast. He turned to Cas again. "I'll let you know what I hear from Gabriel. In the meantime, perhaps you should let Anael take Dean for awhile. He's getting quite uppity."

Cas smiled, but there was no humor in the expression. "I will take that under advisement," he said dryly.

"Hmmm, somehow I doubt it," Balthazar said, fluttering off without waiting for a response.

As soon as they were alone, Dean turned to Cas. "What is with everyone trying to separate us? Worst slavery experience ever. You can't just give someone a gift and then threaten to take it away every few seconds," Dean griped.

"It is odd," Cas agreed. "I have done everything they asked, and you have not posed a threat to Heaven or sought your brother- to the best of their knowledge. The only reason for my brothers to want to take you from me is if somehow they know that I…" Cas stopped abruptly and for the first time ever put physical space between himself and Dean, shoulders shifting in what Dean recognized as nervousness.

Hope swelled in Dean. "That you what, Cas?" he asked, licking his lower lip, intensely aware of Cas's eyes on him as he tracked the movement.

"What?" Cas asked, unconsciously swaying closer to Dean again. Dean smirked, smug with satisfaction at having totally derailed Cas's train of thought with the power of his tongue. Awesome.

"The only reason your brothers would take me from you is if they know that you…what, Cas?" Dean repeated patiently, reaching out to cup his hands around Cas's hips.

The contact seemed to jar Cas out of his stupor. "Nothing," he said, stepping out of Dean's reach. "I have to go."

Before Dean could protest Cas disappeared, leaving Dean alone but with all the confirmation he needed. Cas wanted him. Dean just had to make sure that Cas knew that Dean wanted him too.

***

Sam watched as the faceless stranger - the tall, buff, long haired stranger - slid wetly in and out of Gabriel's body. Gabriel's eyes closed tight as he thrust himself back faster onto the hard cock. Sam reached his hand past the elastic waistband of the pajama bottoms he'd been wearing when the noises started and need to see had pulled him from his bed and to Gabriel's door.

He licked a palm and gripped himself, stroking in time to the bucking of the body thrusting into Gabriel. He moaned softly when Gabriel shifted, affording him a view of Gabriel's red cock leaking onto the sheets below him.

Gabriel's eyes snapped open at the sound, his gaze finding unerringly Sam's. "Sam," he gasped as their eyes met and he came spectacularly all over his sheets. A few strokes later and Sam found his own release over his hand. His eyes closed and he leaned against the doorframe, shaking through the aftermath.

When he opened his eyes again, Gabriel stood right in front of him - all signs of the other man and their activities gone. Without thinking Sam leaned heavily against the angel, mouths meeting in a fierce kiss.

"Sam. Sammy, why didn't you choose yourself?" Gabriel panted against Sam's mouth, lust and want pouring out of him. "I've been waiting for you."

Sam remembered then why this was a very bad idea. He straightened up and pulled away with some difficulty. "Why haven't you freed me?"

"You're not gonna like the answer," Gabriel warned, leaning toward Sam again, but not quite touching him.

"Try me," Sam insisted.

Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam's waist and lay his chin on his chest so he could look up into Sam's eyes. "It's for your own good. You're safer with me than out on your own."

"You were right," Sam said, "I don't like it."

"Are you saying you're only trying to seduce me to gain your freedom?" Gabriel's tone was teasing, but hurt poured out of him.

Sam rolled his eyes and pressed a quick, firm kiss to Gabriel's lips. "No."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Sam answered, surprised. He had no idea when Gabriel had made the short list of people he trusted.

A smile - a genuine one, not a smirk - bloomed on Gabriel's face. "Then trust me now."

Sam nodded and then blurted out the other reason he hadn't approached Gabriel. "I don't want to be the fuck of the night."

Gabriel laughed and kissed Sam's chest. "You're my fuck every night. Every time, they're always you. I'd have given them up anytime if you'd just asked."

Sam pulled back again, but this time left his arms around Gabriel. Through the bond Sam could feel passion, hope, and most surprisingly of all - love. "I'm asking," Sam said quietly.

Warmth and joy soaked into Sam from the bond and Gabriel waggled his eyebrows. "Sammy, wanna give up your glamorous slave lifestyle and become an angel's consort?"

"Gabriel, wanna give up your slutty lifestyle and be my mate?" Sam retorted, showing off more of the angelic lore he'd picked up from his library.

Gabriel laughed, clearly impressed, and flew them both to the bed. Somewhere over the course of the night they both found a way to make the other say yes.


***

Since making the welcome discovery that Dean's lust affair with an angel of the Lord was reciprocated, Dean had been trying and failing to get said angel to himself. Either Anna or Balthazar were at dinner every night, and just when Dean thought it couldn't possibly get worse - it did.

They got twice the dinner company when both Anna and Balthazar showed up on their doorstep. It wasn't a quiet dinner - couldn't be with Balthazar trying to steal Cas's attention at every turn, and Anna trying to keep him distracted while directing pointed looks at Dean - and yet, it felt quiet and tense to Dean with Cas shutting him out still and Anna ignoring his attempts at conversation. It was a relief when it was over, even as Dean's mind raced for a way to make Cas - who'd been rushing right out after dinner every night- stay.

"You could try just asking," Anna whispered gently while Balthazar hoarded Cas's attention.

"What?" Dean asked, startled. He hadn't know she could read his mind. "How did you…?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "I don't have to violate your privacy to know there's something on your mind. I'm betting it has something to do with Castiel. You've been shooting him these adorable longing gazes all night. Whatever it is you're thinking or wondering - just ask him."

"I'll keep that in mind," Dean promised wryly.

"Cassie, love, I have another engagement, but need to speak to you first," Balthazar said as he pushed away from the table. "Alone," he added.

Dean growled, but Cas put a hand on his knee before he could protest. "There is no need," Cas said, "Dean can hear whatever you need to say, especially if it involves his brother."

Balthazar glanced briefly at Anna. She was a good friend, but they hadn't filled her in on the whole Sam situation.

"I'll just take these to the kitchen, shall I?" she asked, standing and gathering the dinner dishes. Dean and Cas sent her identical looks of gratitude.

Once she'd gone Balthazar said, "I've had word from Gabriel."

"You spoke to him?" Dean exploded out of his chair and got in Balthazar's face, angry that he'd waited the entire farce of a meal to tell them.

"No," Balthazar said, "He sent me a message that he'd be seeing me soon. He also..." Balthazar pulled an envelope out of the air with a snap. "...sent this."

He handed the envelope to Cas. Dean quickly went to Cas's side as Cas opened the letter and read it through quickly. His emotions did something interesting and hard to follow across the bond and then he looked back up.

"Anael, Balthazar, I would like to be alone with Dean now," he said. Dean hadn't even noticed Anna returning, and dread bore down on him like a physical weight at the seriousness in Cas's tone. He grabbed the letter from Cas's hands, and Cas let him, but the letter was written in Enochian and the only thing Dean could make out was Castiel's name.

"Of course, Castiel," Anna said, grabbing Balthazar's arm and pulling him close to her. "We will leave you at once." Balthazar started to protest, but Anna gave him a look that could freeze fire and they were gone.

"Cas..." Dean said, fear stealing his voice before he could ask.

Cas immediately set his hand over the mark on Dean's arm, sending comfort and strength. "Sam is fine," he said. "The news is worrisome, but not... But not that."

Dean felt like he could breath again and he moved closer into Cas's heat. "Promise?"

"I would not lie to you," Cas assured him.

"Okay," Dean said, almost lightheaded with relief. "Okay. Then what's up?"

"Gabriel has revealed to me why Heaven was anxious to acquire and keep Sam. He is one of Azael's children," Cas told him gravely.

Dean had no idea what the hell one of Azael's children meant, but he had the feeling it wasn't good. "And that's bad," he said.

"Azael is one of the Fallen," Cas said, pretty much confirming Dean's conclusion. "His mission is to create special children to lead his army and free Lilith by feeding demon blood to infants."

"What?" Dean stepped away from Cas, away from his words. Cas let him go.

"The blood gives the children special powers."

Cas said more after had more to say after that, but Dean didn't hear a word of it. He was thinking about Sam's headaches and dreams and all the stuff he seemed to just know before it happened. He interrupted Cas. "Sam's a demon? He could…" Dean couldn't finish. It couldn't be true, not his little Sammy. His brother had the biggest heart, and he always looked for the good in others. He couldn't be… It just couldn't be true. Somebody had made a mistake.

Cas pulled Dean closer again, putting his hands on Dean's shoulders and forcing him to met Cas's kind eyes. "No. He is still your brother. The one you've raised and taught and loved his whole life. That does not change."

Dean closed his eyes and let Cas's words and feelings calm him down. "Right," he said out loud. "Right."

"He's not a demon," Cas continued. "He is just slightly more than human. Only further ingestion of demon blood would corrupt him fully. However, in Heaven's eyes, the threat is still there."

Dean opened his eyes again. "What can we do?"

Cas released him and looked away. "There are a few ways to remove Sam as a threat. Kill him…"

"Not an option," Dean said harshly.

Cas smiled and met his eyes again briefly. "Obviously. Keeping him under the control of an archangel - in this case, Gabriel - is another alternative. The partial bond that we - and doubtless our brothers - share would keep tabs on Sam and make it difficult for a demon to approach him without alerting Gabriel."

"Difficult, but not impossible," Dean guessed. "Not that I'm not grateful that Heaven choose that option, but is there another?" Dean asked.

"Only one other of which I'm aware," Cas said slowly, "but I am uncertain you will like that option any better."

"Hit me," Dean said, unconsciously spreading his legs, bracing as if for a physical blow.

"A full mating bond with an angel would cleanse the taint from Sam, removing his powers and all that Azael might find desirable," Cas said.

"Mating bond?" Dean asked, heart sinking.

"The complete merging of an angel's grace with, in this case, a human soul. The act would purify the soul, but also permanently bond Sam to the angel."

An idea. A horrible, terrible idea was forming in Dean's head. "It have to be an archangel?" Dean asked hoarsely, feeling nauseous with his choice.

Cas stared at him, eyes narrowing, no doubt troubled by the whirlwind of negative emotions Dean couldn't keep a lid on. "No. Any angel's grace would work."

Dean swallowed rapidly against the bile rising in his throat and forced himself to make another sacrifice in the name of his brother. "Do it. Mate with Sam."

Cas took a step back, eyes widening, and then he advanced on Dean again. A whirl of hurt, rejection, and denial from Cas joined the riot of emotion Dean was sending dancing across the bond until Dean was no longer sure who was feeling what. "What?"

Dean had to close his eyes. "You heard me," he said, unable to repeat the command. "When Balthazar sets up the meet with Sam and Gabriel, you should ma… cleanse Sammy."

Cas gave a noise like a sob, but Dean didn't - couldn't - open his eyes. "I cannot," Cas said.

Dean smiled despite himself. He didn't much want Cas mating with anyone - anyone else - but he loved Sam more than himself, and he trusted Cas with his life; and, more importantly, with his brother. "You have to. You just said it's the only way he can be safe and free."

"No," Cas growled, the sound going right to Dean's groin despite the circumstances. "No, I cannot Dean. It's impossible. We cannot mate without love. Our grace would reject the bond, causing injury to both parties."

Dean didn't like the sound of that. Preventing harm to Sam - and to Castiel - was the whole point. He opened his eyes and forced a shaky smile. "So, we'll give it some time. Sam's smart. Friendly, sympathetic, and a believer to boot. You'll adore him. And he's not hideously ugly." Dean put on his well-worn charming smile, pretending he didn't care as he added, "He's not as awesome as me, of course, but you've got a lot in common. And I'm sure…"

Dean lost his excuses as Cas grabbed his arms hard enough to bruise, forcing Dean to meet his angry eyes. "No, Dean. I will never be capable of mating with Samuel. I am in love with another."

For Dean it was like the whole world stopped for a moment. He nearly forgot to breath. The panic and anger in Cas was fading to something painfully tender, and Cas raised on hand to cup Dean's cheek. Dean leaned into the touch, and asked, "You do?"

Cas nodded. "I have been most confused by this annoying fluttering in my chest, the inexplicable tingling in my limbs, the thoughts of you - both carnal and mundane - that I am unable to banish. It took some quiet meditation, and some embarrassing conversations with Anael, but I have finally identified the feeling." He smiled then and it was like a fire was lit somewhere inside of Dean. "I love you."

Dean sighed deeply, relief and joy spreading through him. "You never said…" he started.

"You have little choice in your current companionship," Cas said, watching his thumb where it was slowly stroking over Dean's lower lip, "I did not want you to feel pressure to belong to me in the ways I have been imagining."

Through the bond, Dean felt that elusive emotion that usually only Anna invoked, and this time he identified it readily. Possession. Dean was surprised at how much he liked it. The feeling in Cas was immediately followed through the bond by shame. Dean liked that even more - that Cas would be ashamed of wanting to own him when he thought Dean hadn't had a choice in offering himself up.

Although Dean thought - knew - he would offer himself freely. In fact, "I do have another choice. You've tried to free me lots of times. I choose this," Dean said, pushing his own desires - both carnal and mundane - through the bond, "Besides," he said with a wicked twist of his lips, "if I wanted another choice, Anna seemed willing."

That had exactly the desired effect when Cas growled like the inhuman thing he was and slammed Dean back against the wall, crowding into his face at once, trapping Dean with his weight. "She can't have you."

"No?" Dean teased with a grin, "Don't I get a say in that?"

Cas growled again, but then - with a different display of strength - pulled back slightly, not totally releasing Dean. "Yes, of course you do."

Dean leaned forward and kissed him softly, just a teasing press of lips and a stroke of his tongue across the seam of Cas's lips before he pulled away. "You're right, she can't have me."

"Mine," Cas whispered, all his wild passion suddenly converted to quiet intimacy. It should have made Dean uncomfortable, having so much devotion and wonder aimed at himself. But all he felt was loved and safe and home. Dean very much wanted the opportunity to get used to it.

He hooked an arm around Cas and switched their positions. He knew he could only move Cas because Cas allowed it, but it still made him feel powerful and primitive. "And Balthazar can't have you," he reminded Cas firmly.

Cas looked genuinely surprised at the idea, which made Dean unreasonably happy, and then smiled at him, almost too raw and tender for Dean's comfort. "Of course not. That would be impossible since I belong to you."

There was really nothing Dean could say to that, so he didn't try. He pressed a kiss, slow and tender to Cas's eager mouth and tried to say what his testosterone filled upbringing wouldn't allow yet.

Cas fitted his hand over the mark on his arm, and Dean knew he felt it anyway. All the words of want and need, longing and fulfillment, and love that he wanted time to learn to vocalize.

"Dean," he said, awe in his voice, pushing everything Dean was sending him back along with more back at Dean.

"Cas," Dean answered, kissing him breathless, "bed. Now." Dean was dimly aware of the pull and flutter as they switched locations and then they were in his room, on his bed, Dean straddling Cas. He pulled back to remove his shirt and then leaned back down to get Cas out of his. A process made nearly impossible by Cas's inability to keep his hands off of Dean's chest. Somehow Dean managed to get Cas hopelessly tangled in his shirt. Dean laughed. "Cas, man, help me out here."

The shirt disappeared as if it'd never been, followed in short order by his pants. "Whoa," Dean said, "slow it down, this part can be fun." Dean's pants disappeared as well.

Cas had the grace to look abashed, making Dean laugh again. "So it's gonna be like that, huh?" Dean gripped Cas through the soft cotton of his boxers.

Cas gasped and bucked into his grip. "Dean." He sounded lost, desperate and wanton. Dean wanted to hear his name fall from Cas's lips like that again and again.

"Shh, I got you." He soothed, unable to stop smiling.

Cas apparently not liking the smugness in Dean's voice, narrowed his eyes and copied Dean's move, gripping Dean's cock through the thin layer of his underwear. Then, presumably just because he could, Dean's underwear were gone and there was nothing separating Cas's warm hand from Dean's eager cock.

"Cas," Dean moaned, arms trembling with the effort of holding himself over Cas.

"Shh," Cas said, "I've got you now."

Dean kissed away the smirk Cas had stole from him and lowered himself fully onto Cas, and the angel hastily moved his hand before it could become trapped between them. "So," he said with forced casualness as Cas got rid of the last remaining layer of clothing between them. "Want to tell me about the ways you've been imagining me belonging to you?"

Later, Dean boneless, eyes closed, and more than halfway to sleep he heard Cas whisper to him. "We'll find another way to free your brother. I swear it."

Dean hummed his approval. He believed Cas without a doubt. Maybe that was the orgasm talking or the bond, but he did. "I know, Cas," he assured him lazily. Then, with no input from his pleasure addled brain, Dean asked, "Are we mated now?"

Dean felt Cas tense briefly and he ran a soothing hand down his back even as he opened his eyes to see what was wrong. Cas relaxed almost at once. "There is more to it than the physical bonding," he said.

Dean yawned and pulled Cas closer. "Yeah, like what?" Dean was distantly aware that he was practically asking Cas to marry him, and quickly at that, but the feelings of love and home that Cas was sending him were so perfectly matched to his own that Dean couldn't feel anything but right about it.

Cas pressed a kiss to his chest, sending a jolt of happiness through them both. "Witnesses, words, and intent. And your mark on me."

Dean like the thought of that - his angel claimed and marked for all of Heaven to see. He wanted to ask more about that, but sleep was dragging him down fast. "Tomorrow," he mumbled sleepily, meaning both his questions and the mating.

Pleasure zinged down the bond. "Tomorrow," Cas agreed. "Sleep now."

Dean swore he'd only been asleep for moments when movement woke him. It was Cas, climbing back into the bed. "Cas?" he asked, trying to blink his eyes awake. "Wassup?"

"Nothing, Dean," Cas answered in a whisper to match Dean's, "go back to sleep."

"Everything okay?" he asked, struggling to sit up.

"It will be." Cas gently pushed him back down with a hand to the center of his chest. Dean got a flash of something unsettled from Cas, but it was overwhelmed almost immediately by something that reminded Dean of his mother's tomato rice soup as Cas kissed him gently. He thought he heard Cas whisper and the press of fingers to his forehead as he drifted off, but he was too far gone to be sure. Dean fell asleep with Cas on his chest and peace in his heart.

He woke up in an unfamiliar hotel room with his father.

***

"Dad? What did you do? Send me back. I need to go back," Dean shouted, flailing around on the bed as he tried to disentangle himself from the sheets that were securely tucked around him. John stood stock still at the side of his bed, staring.

"Dean?" John asked, voice sounding rougher than Dean remembered. "You're really here?"

"What?" Dean finally managed to free himself from his cocoon and stood up. "Of course I'm really here." Dean rubbed absentmindedly at his chest, where there was a dull ache. John's words sunk in and he sat back on the bed abruptly. "Wait, you didn't do this? Bring me back?"

John shook his head mutely, then suddenly pulled Dean to his feet, gathering his elder son into his arms. The scent of alcohol surrounding him was nearly overwhelming.

Dean allowed the embrace but didn't return it, uncomfortable with the outpouring of emotion from his father while his own feelings were so confused. He still loved his father, of course, but he didn't know if he could forgive him for what he did to Sammy - not while Sam was still missing. But when Dean felt his father's body shake with quiet sobs, he wrapped his own arms around him, holding on tightly until John's body had stilled and his grip loosened.

"Dad, are you okay?" Dean asked, putting aside his own concerns in favor of doing what he did best - looking after his family.

Dean felt John shake his head, and then his father released him. He stepped back but clasped his hands on Dean's shoulders. "Sam's demon marked, since he was a baby."

"I know," Dean said, "Azael, Lilth, lots of evil shit."

John nodded, apparently unsurprised by Dean's newfound knowledge. "I thought this would save him. Give me your mother's killer and a way to kill him, yes, but I was thinking of him too. Or so I thought. I never should have let them take your Sammy. Or you."

Dean nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He understood his father's motives to a point, but it wasn't a choice Dean would have - could have - made himself.

"I tried to make them bring you both back. Told them I didn't want the gun, and I'd protect Sam on my own. Zachariah laughed in my face." John let his hands fall from Dean's shoulders. "I know that I can't ask you to forgive me," he began.

Just like that, Dean knew that he did forgive his father. His motives had been partially selfish, but John's bloodshot eyes and trembling hands told Dean that it hadn't been an easy decision to make or with which to live. He tried to tell his father that, but John stopped him with a shake of his head.

"I just want to know that you boys… I just want to know if my boys are okay."

Dean shrugged. "I haven't found Sam, Dad. I'm sorry, but Cas thinks he's alright."

John gave him a long thoughtful look and nodded. "And you?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'm okay." Dean smiled, remembering how he'd fallen asleep. "In fact, a few hours ago I was downright giddy."

"Cas?" John asked. Dean's head jerked up in surprise. "You mentioned her a few minutes ago. She said Sam was okay, and that seemed good enough for you. Must be someone special."

"He is," Dean said. Dean had never tried to hide any of his conquests from his father, so John already knew he was an equal opportunity lover. "But I think he might be in trouble if you're not the reason I'm here. I gotta get back." Dean closed his eyes and concentrated on that part inside himself where Cas resided.

It was hollow.

Dean shuddered at the emptiness there, but fought back his panic. "Cas," he called out loud. "Come on, Cas, don't do this to me. Where are you?"

Dean pushed at the empty spot in his chest harder, but no answer came. "Cas," he called, opening his eyes and yelling at the ceiling. "Get your feathery ass down here."

After several minutes of Dean prodding the place where the bond used to be and screaming at the walls, John spoke up. "Dean," he said quietly.

The sound of his name made something in Dean's heart snap. "He said he'd always come when I called. He promised."

John nodded like that made perfect sense. "Then maybe he can't. Maybe he's…"

"No," Dean shouted, drowning out whatever horrible conclusion John was about to draw. He couldn't think of Cas hurt. Or worse. Cas had been fine when he'd last seen him, and Dean clung to that. "He can't be… I'd know."

"Zachariah," John said.

Dean turned to him, confused. "Wh…" Zachariah was standing right next to his father. Dean was across the room in the space of a heartbeat, only the memory of a harmless bullet hole in Zach's head keeping him from punching the son of a bitch. "Where is he?" Dean growled.

Zachariah smiled ingratiatingly. "Who? Your rebellious little angel or your demon spawn brother?"

Dean reared back to hit him, uncaring of the angel's immunity, but John beat him to it - slugging Zachariah across the jaw. There was a loud crack and John fell back, clutching his hand to his chest.

"Dad?" Dean asked, concerned.

"Worth it," John grunted through his clenched teeth.

Dean nodded his agreement before turning back to Zachariah. "What did you do to Cas?"

Zachariah's smile slipped and he looked genuinely surprised for a moment before he recovered himself. "I've done nothing with your little pet. I simply came as a courtesy to let you know that the threat of your abomination of a brother has been removed."

Dean leapt forward, wrapping his hands in Zachariah's lapel and growling in his face. "Explain."

Zachariah remained unimpressed, removing Dean without lifting a hand. "He's Gabriel's Intended." At John and Dean's identical blank stares, he explained further with a put upon sigh. "Today he will be mated with Gabriel, cleansing his blood and rendering him useless to Azael." He shot Dean a cruel and knowing smile. "Perhaps that's why you've lost Castiel - no reason to keep you around now that your baby brother has fallen in line. It must have been tiresome keeping you under control for so long. I must say, I didn't think our littlest brother had it in him."

John reached out with his good hand to steady Dean who'd staggered back at the overload of information Zachariah was dumping on them. Sam mated and him left behind like yesterday's garbage now that he wasn't a threat. Dean didn't know if he could stand this latest rejection.

"Where is Sam?" John asked.

Zachariah shrugged. "With Gabriel, I should think, and I don't know or care where Gabriel is or what he does as long as he comes when I…" Zachariah paused for a fraction of a second "When Michael calls. Good day Winchesters. Nice doing business with you."

Zachariah left with a fluttering sound that hit Dean like a kick to the chest. "Cas," he whispered, heart refusing to believe what his head said was true. "You promised. Always. I'm calling now."

He waited quietly for an endless eternity, measuring time by the rapid beating of his heart, and the ragged sound of his breathing. He waited until the both evened out into a semblance of normal, and then he reached out once again toward the hollow spot in his chest. It remained quiet and empty.

He allowed himself a moment to grieve what he'd thought he found. Another moment to feel anger at Cas for making him believe in a happy future and at himself for falling for it. And one last moment to curse Heaven and everything about it.

Then he pushed all the feelings - the joy, the hurt, the anger and the pain - down deep inside of himself and locked them up tight. He took a deep breath and shook off his father's questioning stare.

"I need a phone and my car," he told John.

John looked pained, but he nodded without protest. He handed over his spare cell and the keys to his truck. "Call Bobby - we're close. He can meet you with the impala and return the truck to me here after. He and I need to have a talk anyway." John smiled, a little bittersweet. "And he'll want to see you."

"Yeah, okay," Dean said, already heading to the door. "Thanks." Without a backwards glance, Dean was outside and climbing into the truck. He still had to find Sam, whatever his brother's current situation. It was corny as shit, but Dean thought finding Sam might be the only way he could feel whole again, especially with part of his soul left in Heaven.

***

The sound of knocking wasn't the most annoying way Sam had ever been woken, but today in particular he decided it ranked in the top ten. He moaned into his pillow before pulling it over his head.

"Morning Sunshine!" Gabriel said with a chuckle and a fond pat on the ass.

"Make it stop," Sam muttered as the pounding on the door continued.

"Anything for you, dear," Gabriel said. Sam considered smacking him for the condescension but Gabriel was already getting out of bed and moving toward the door so he let it go for now.

"Castiel?" Sam could hear Gabriel's disbelief through his pillow and two walls.

Castiel?, the name sounded familiar though Sam's sleep addled mind couldn't immediately identify it. One of Gabriel's conquests? He didn't think so, but Sam dragged himself out of bed and into a pair of sweat pants just in case he needed to dissuade someone from trying to seduce his future mate.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Gabriel was asking, sounding more amused than disgruntled. "This is payback for sending Balthazar in the middle of the night, isn't it?"

"Gabriel," a deep gravely voice answered. "I have come to free Samuel Winchester and take him back to his brother."

Suddenly Sam knew exactly where he'd heard that name before, and he rushed into the entry hall. "Dean?" he asked excitedly, sure that this angel's presence meant that Dean had sweet talked both of them out of slavery and into freedom. A few days late in his case of course, but Sam could tease his brother about that after he'd hugged him within an inch of his life.

But Dean was nowhere in sight. "Sammy - Sam," the deep voiced angel - Castiel - corrected himself. "Are you unharmed?"

Sam focused on the man - the angel - before him. The angel that had been given Dean looked like much like the other angels Sam had met, which was to say completely ordinary. Castiel was slim. Shorter than him, but taller than Gabriel - somewhere very close to Dean's height by Sam's estimate. He had a shock of unruly black hair and a trench coat that Sam could practically hear Dean mocking. The only truly extraordinary thing about him was that he had the most remarkable pair of blue eyes Sam had ever seen.

"Samuel, has my brother harmed you?" Castiel repeated, shifting his intense gaze to Gabriel now, growling the question.

Sam was well aware that Gabriel was an angel, an archangel even. It was in his casual arrogance, his unthinking use of power for the smallest task. It was also in the force of his passion when they made love. But he'd never felt the crackle of raw power emanating from him that now radiated from the angel Castiel. If Sam had at first thought he could easily be mistaken for an ordinary man he knew now that he'd never forget the angel's true nature again. Castiel's essence seemed to fill the room with nothing more than the threat in his voice and the intensity of his stare.

"What? No," Samuel protested, wrapping one arm around Gabriel, instinctively looking for support and comfort from his intended mate. Castiel did not miss the gesture if the way his shoulders relaxed minutely was any indication.

Gabriel pulled Sam tighter to his side. "You're a little late baby bro. Sammy here's already a free man."

Castiel looked confused. "It took some time to convince Balthazar to give me your location or I would have been here sooner," he explained, "He was requesting favors I was unwilling to trade."

Gabriel's eyes widen briefly before he settled into his trademark smirk. "Really?" he asked, drawing the word out several syllables more than it warranted. "What kind of favors? Do tell."

"Nothing I was able to give with my grace bound to another," Castiel said dismissively.

That got Sam's attention. He wondered if this little rescue attempt was more than Castiel acting from the goodness of his heart.

Castiel seemed to refocus, his ire rising again as he glared at Gabriel. "I do not believe this is relevant. Balthazar said he was supposed to give me your location at noon when you intended to solve the Sam problem." Castiel said.

"Yep," Gabriel said without explanation. "But now you've ruined Sammy's surprise with your obnoxious wake up call."

Castiel ignored the rebuke. "In what manner were you planning on 'solving' Sam Winchester's problem?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Gabriel said with a smile wicked enough to worry even Sam, who trusted Gabriel completely even though he didn't understand all of the dynamics at play in this little confrontation.

Sam rolled his eyes and held out a hand. "Hi, I'm Sam Winchester, Gabriel's Intended."

And just like that all the remaining righteous anger disappeared from Castiel's countenance, leaving something awkward and uncertain in it's place. "I have greatly misunderstood the situation," he said with something like regret in his voice. Tentatively, Castiel shook the offered hand. "I am Castiel, one of Gabriel's brothers. I am honored to met you Sam: I have heard much about you."

Sam smiled. "Don't believe a word Dean's told you. He's a jerk."

Castiel pulled away quickly and pinned Sam with a disapproving look. "Do not speak of Dean so. He loves you above all else."

Sam blushed, but grinned despite himself. Gabriel sighed. "Don't smite the big lug. He's allowed to make fun of his brother."

"Sorry," Sam apologized, unsure why he should be apologizing to Dean's captor instead of surrounding him in a ring of holy fire, but feeling compelled to stop the accusation in the angel's eyes. "It's a thing with us - inside joke."

"Oh yes," Castiel said, understanding clearing the annoyance from his eyes. The angel hesitated, then said tentatively, as if trying it out for the first time, "Bitch."

Sam blinked in surprise, mind racing over the many implications of Castiel knowing the perfect response.

Castiel shifted his weight from one foot to the other in a strangely human gesture of nerves. "Was that not the correct response?"

"No, it was perfect." Sam said with a smile. "I'm just surprised Dean didn't chime in with it himself. Where is my brother anyway?"

The small smile Castiel had given in response to Sam's own was now completely missing. Something very close to panic crossed his face and he disappeared.

Sam turned a confused look at Gabriel. "What…" but his question was interrupted by the return of Castiel.

Castiel stared at Sam, expressionless for a long moment before, to Sam's shock, he threw himself into Sam's arms. Sam caught him automatically and instinctively gathered him close, squeezing tighter when he heard a quiet broken noise from the angel in his arms.

"Oh, Castiel," Gabriel said gently, stroking his brother's back with one hand. "What have you done?"

"I freed Dean and sent him back to his father."

Sam released Castiel abruptly. "Dad? You returned him to Dad?" Sam was incredulous. "Why would you do that?"

Castiel blinked at Sam. "I was uncertain of my welcome here, or how Gabriel intended to 'solve the Sam problem' and I needed to keep Dean safe while I retrieved you," he said, as if the answer should have been obvious.

"I can't believe Dean agreed to that," Sam said, eyes narrowing Castiel's direction.

Castiel wouldn't meet Sam's accusing gaze when he said, "He didn't. I knew he would insist on coming along - I've already tried to free him many times - so I sent him back while he slept. He was quite wore out after our vigorous copulation last night."

Sam winced a little at the unexpected news about his brother's sex life and searched Castiel's face for any hint that he was joking. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. Is there something humorous about wanting Dean protected?"

"No, but there's something a little funny about treating Dean like a helpless damsel in distress. And thinking Dad - the man who basically sold us into slavery for his own selfish revenge - is the one to keep him safe? That's pretty freakin' hilarious," Sam answered without a trace of humor in his voice.

"To be fair," Gabriel spoke up, "I'm pretty sure your father thought he was protecting you. Dean just got caught in the crossfire."

Sam glared at his Intended, sensing he was missing something important. "Protecting me from what?"

"Azael and the effects of the demon blood," Cas answered.

Sam's attention whipped back to Castiel. "Excuse me?"

Gabriel sighed and Castiel's eyes studied them both thoughtfully. "You haven't told him," Castiel said to Gabriel.

"No," Sam answered for him, "But I think someone had better start explaining."

Gabriel sighed. "Castiel, you'd better come inside. I'm not doing this on my own."

Castiel nodded and once they were comfortably settled around the kitchen table helped his brother explain about Azael, his children, and the three possible ways to protect Sam from them both.

Sam was alternately shocked, disgusted, and ultimately relieved. He thought he understood Castiel's actions better now. "You thought Gabriel was going to kill me," he surmised, "And you rushed over here to rescue me."

Castiel nodded. "Solving the Sam problem sounded ominous." He turned to Gabriel. "I apologize for the assumption."

Gabriel waved that off, and Sam slid his chair closer to Gabriel, addressing him directly. "And you didn't want to tell me this, why?"

"I was going to tell you," Gabriel protested, "Today, in fact, after our brother's showed up right in time to witness our mating."

Sam narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but it was Castiel who answered. "I believe Gabriel did not want you to think he was only offering the mating in order to cleanse you."

Sam shook his head but not because he disagreed. "Idiot," he muttered affectionately. "You forget how helpful my library has been. I know you can't mate for anything less than love." Sam wrapped a hand around Gabriel's neck, pulling his forward until their foreheads touched. "Also, if I recall correctly, I was the one who proposed the mating."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, but Sam didn't miss the way his cheeks pinked with embarrassment. "Yes, you're a genius. Perhaps we should focus on Castiel and his new love 'em and leave 'em act?"

Castiel flushed, though with anger or embarrassment, Sam couldn't be sure. "I meant to return to Dean as soon as I had Sam," Castiel protested, clearly agitated. "Assuming I survived the rescue, of course. I had no idea that it would take so long to convince Balthazar to give me your location early or that Dean would separate from his father so quickly."

"Castiel," Sam started, turning his attention back to the younger angel.

"Cas," Castiel interrupted softly.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Dean calls me Cas," Castiel - Cas - smiled, and Sam could see exactly why his brother had fallen for him. And he knew without a doubt that this angel loved his brother in return.

Sam smiled back. "Cas," he nodded, "has my brother ever once been concerned about his own safety in his history with you?" Sam didn't have to know a thing about Dean's experiences in Heaven to know the answer to that.

Sure enough, Cas was shaking his head. "All he ever asked me for was you. I was trying to give that to him." That sounded like his big brother alright. "And cheeseburgers," Cas added before Sam could respond. "He often asked for cheeseburgers, which I have provided on multiple occasions."

That startled a laugh out of Sam. "Well, your intentions may have been good, but your execution is a little flawed. Dean likes to make his own decisions, and they almost always involve risking his own life to protect those he loves. You'll have to do some serious groveling when we get him back."

Cas sighed. "I do not know how to find him."

Gabriel who had been surprisingly quiet next to Sam finally spoke up. "What do you mean you can't find him? It doesn't take an archangel as awesome as me to find one human."

Sam snorted, and Cas turned his unnerving gaze onto Gabriel. "I carved protection into his ribs."

Sam had no idea what that meant but Gabriel let out a long whistle, clearly impressed. "Good one, bro. I can't believe I never thought of it."

In an echo of their first day together Gabriel slapped a hand onto Sam's chest. Again there was a sharp burning sensation. "Hey," Sam protested, pushing Gabriel away. He pulled up his shirt but couldn't see any new marks. "What was that for?"

"Now only one angel in existence can find you," Gabriel answered, sounding far too satisfied for Sam's comfort.

Rubbing a hand absently over his chest Sam asked, "That's what you did to Dean and now you can't find him?"

Cas was scowling at Sam's chest as if it offended him. "I believed that Dean would remain with John Winchester or go to Robert Singer's home. I did not modify the Enochian on his ribs as Gabriel has done to yours."

"So our best guess is that he's gone looking for me on his own, but you can't find him," Sam summarized.

"I believe so, yes." Castiel looked down at the table, an oddly human gesture of discomfort, before admitting, "He called for me several times while I was searching for you. Perhaps he will do so again."

Sam doubted it, and the look on Cas's face suggested he doubted it too. The fact that Cas hadn't answered and Dean had stopped calling probably meant that he was done reaching out. A lesson Sam had learned the hard way when he walked out to start his own life. But there was no reason to worry Cas with that news: he'd learn soon enough. Instead he said, "Dean's smart. He'll find me and, by extension, you. What's the easiest way to find us?"

"A summoning?" Gabriel suggested, but he looked skeptical, and Cas was shaking his head.

"It would be very difficult to find the correct ritual, and nearly impossible to find your true name. He has mine, but I fear his anger and stubbornness may prevent him from contacting me," Cas said. Sam was impressed that Cas had learned this about his brother so quickly. "The easiest way to contact you would be to pray."

Sam sighed and leaned back in his chair. "You better make yourself at home then. This could take awhile."

***
Dean closed the door to his latest hotel room and surveyed it dully. Cowboy themed this time. He probably would have even been excited about it if… Well, he didn't get excited about much of anything the past few weeks.

Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked for missed calls. Three from his father, one from Bobby. Dean's thumb hesitated over John's name. He hadn't spoken to him since he'd left to meet Bobby in the impala. He pushed the call back button and listened to it ring.

"Dean?" John answered on the first ring, and Dean wondered where he was and what he was doing to pick up so quickly. He didn't ask.

"Yeah, Dad. I just wanted to check in." Truthfully, Dean didn't know why he'd called. Maybe he was getting lonely. He snorted at himself. Or maybe he was getting soft in the head.

"That's good, son. It's good to hear from you."

Dean closed his eyes and stretched out in the chair. "You too."

There was an awkward silence and then John cleared his throat. "Dean, listen, after you left someone came asking for you."

"Yeah?" Dean really didn't care. He wasn't even sure he remembered where they had been then, other than close enough for Bobby to meet after only a few hours.

"It was an angel, I think. Funny little guy with a trench coat and an intense stare." Dean sat up with a start, heart pounding wildly in his chest. "Called himself Castiel," John said. "Your Cas?" he guessed

Dean couldn't answer, too many questions roiling around in his head and trying to force themselves out his mouth. Castiel. Cas - his Cas - had come looking for him, answered his calls after all. What did that even mean?

"Dean? Are you still there?" John asked, sounding wary and concerned.

Dean had to take a couple of deep breaths before he could answer. "Yeah," he said, voice breaking a little over the word.

"You okay?" John, who never noticed a damn thing about his sons unless it was inconvenient for Dean, heard the waver in his voice.

Dean swallowed hard. "Yeah," he repeated, steadier this time. "What'd the angel want?" Dean couldn't say Cas's name, not to his father, terrified John would hear everything in the way those three letters fell from his lips.

"You," John said, and Dean's heart stepped up to triple time. "He was looking for you, but I didn't know if you wanted to be found. I didn't tell him a damn thing." John paused, but continued when Dean, too afraid of what he might say if he started, didn't answer him. "The thing is, he keeps coming back."

Dean stood up then, too restless to stay still. "What's he asking for?"

"Forgiveness, he says. Says he 'made a grave error' and he wants to fix it. I think he's hoping you'll come back to me." John laughed, but there was no humor it. "I told him there was no chance. You're a stubborn son of a bitch just like your father."

"That's what Sammy always said," Dean agreed, "And he is the brains of this operation."

John laughed again, just a short bark of laughter, but genuine this time. "So he thinks anyway. We all know who really keeps this family together." John went quiet for a moment then turned serious. "Thanks for that, by the way."

Dean's throat constricted. "Dad…" he began.

"Anyway," John said, interrupting what no doubt would have been an embarrassing outpouring of… something, "he told me to tell you to pray. And I'm pretty sure he meant that literally."

He probably did too. "Dad," Dean started again, but he didn't know how to say what he wanted so he settled for, "I gotta go. Case."

"Okay, son." John sounded resigned. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Dean heard everything that John wasn't saying. "You too," he said before ending the call. Dean's pacing took him to the door and then past it. He had to get away for a little bit, get some fresh air, clear his head of trench coat wearing angels before he got back to the problem of finding his brother. With a fond pat of her hood, Dean bypassed the Impala in favor of walking.

The town he'd stopped in was even smaller than usual, not so much as an all night grocery store or gas station was open. There was a bar he remembered passing on the way into town but Dean turned north, away from the lights and potential company the bar offered.

Dean tried to focus as he walked. He had to find Sam, that's all he could afford to think about right now. Not about long tan trench coats and eyes that bore into him like he was the only thing in existence worth looking at.

Dean stopped when he found himself standing in front of a small white church. Subconsciously he must have headed toward the only source of light in the town other than the bar. Sam would probably have a field day with the symbolism of that, and Dean smiled at the thought.

Dean walked into the church - empty, but he'd suspected as much. In a town like this with no crime to speak of they probably didn't leave it open for active confession or whatever it was that people got up to in big city churches at night, but for lost souls in need of some quiet. Lost souls like him. Dean hadn't properly been to church for way too many years, long before Pastor Jim had passed.

It was quiet. More than quiet, it was peaceful with an air of calm and comfort that reminded Dean of..

"Cas," he whispered into the church. But of course there was no statue or tapestry of a trench coat wearing angel of the Lord anywhere in the chapel.

It was only Wednesday anyway. And Cas had already made it clear how he felt about Dean. Maybe? His conversation with his father had confused everything all over again, and Dean found himself wondering if Bobby had been receiving unexpected visits as well.

Dean pulled his hand away from his arm, where he'd been unconsciously stroking over his mark. He scanned the walls idly, reading the verses hand stitched onto the wall tapestries.

"…The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (James 5:16) caught his eye. But Dean couldn't pray to the angel who had made him feel whole and safe and so, so loved and then tossed him out without so much as a goodbye or a 'kiss my ass'. Even in light of new revelations, Dean didn't think he was ready for that.

But maybe... "Gabriel," Dean said, voice cracking on the word. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Gabriel. This is Dean, uh, Winchester. Sam's brother. I don't know much about you beyond what the Gideons slipped into my hotel rooms over the years, but Ca... But your brother seems to think you're an okay guy."

Dean paused and gathered his thoughts. He felt a little stupid talking to himself in an empty church, but... "If you're there, if you're listening, you better be taking good care of my baby brother. He hates to admit it, but he needs a lot of looking after, especially if even half of Dad's theories are true. And maybe..."

Dean shook his head at his own hesitation. either Gabriel was listening and this was Dean's best shot at finding his brother or Dean was talking to himself with no one to hear him being foolish. Dean pushed on ahead. "And maybe I could visit him sometime? Just see him with my own two eyes and make sure he's not getting any uglier."

Dean waited, expectant despite himself. "Please," he added for good measure, and then, "Amen."

And Dean's ass hit a hard surface as the pew beneath him seemed to disappear. "Oof" he said inelegantly.

"No time like the present, right?" A short, brown haired man Dean would never forget as long as he lived was saying, looming over where Dean had fallen.

"What?" Dean said.

Dean thought he heard Gabriel answer, "For your visit - no time like the present." But his words were mostly lost in the welcome roar of his name.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, folding him into a bear hug so tight that Dean suspected his ribs were in danger of cracking . But no way was he complaining, he gave back as good as he got, squeezing Sam to him impossibly tighter.

"Sammy," Dean said, too happy to have his Sammy back in his arms to be embarrassed by the watery wobble in his voice.

Sam said, "So, you finally got your head out of your ass and realized prayer is the best way to find an angel." He released his brother, but put one hand on Dean's shoulder, eyes roving over him in happy disbelief. "Especially one that's already looking for you."

Gabriel, who had been quiet while the brothers reunited stepped in closer, sliding one arm around Sam's waist. Sam allowed it, to Dean's surprise, but then something in Sam's expression brought forth a memory. The last time Dean had seen him so happy, Dean had been watching him from across the street as he left class with one arm around Jess.

Sam was still prattling on. "I knew you'd call Dad or Bobby sooner or later. What took you so long? Cas has been waiting for a long time. You're not still angry with him are you? Because he loves you. A lot. It's a little disturbing actually. But the thing is that he only did what's what he thought...." Dean was overwhelmed by his brother's painfully earnest babbling and something in his face must have shown it because Sam trailed off. "Dean?"

"I didn't," Dean said. "I didn't pray to Cas. How do you even know him?"

"But?" Sam said, confused and automatically looking to Gabriel for explanation.

"Castiel left this morning to follow a lead on our wayward Winchester. I'm the one who brought Dean here." Gabriel shifted his attention to Dean. "I'm thrilled and beyond flattered that you chose to pray to me, instead of my lovesick little brother, but I have to ask - why me instead of my lovesick little brother?"

Sam looked from the archangel to Dean. "You prayed to Gabriel?"

Dean nodded, trying to play it off with a shrug. "Cas said he lived on Earth and didn't like his brothers much. Sounded like my kind of guy."

Gabriel smiled. "And you thought your brother wouldn't like me," he teased.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I was the one obsessing over the in laws," he said, clearly meaning the exact opposite.

Dean took the bait, giving his brother a chance to share his news. "Something you want to tell me Sam?"

Sam turned to his brother, still smiling but nerves replacing the humor in his expression. "Yeah, Dean, there is. Gabriel and I..." He shifted nervously and Gabriel's hand crept up to press over Sam's heart. Sam seemed to gather strength from the gesture. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Gabriel is my mate."

Dean's mind completely blanked out for a moment. Even though he'd already known this, hearing the news from Sam's own lips shocked something in him. A flood of emotion - jealousy, fear, joy - overwhelmed him, and he instinctively pressed against that cold, empty place in his chest that used to be Cas. But then he looked up at Sam's stupidly hopeful face and the possessive, protective hand Gabriel had pressed over Sam's heart and he knew there was only one way he could respond.

"Way to go, Sammy." Sam beamed at him, and enveloped him in another hug. Dean knew he'd said the right thing, even as he reminded himself to give Gabriel a talking to later.

Gabriel nodded and smirked Dean's direction - an acknowledgement and thank you in one and disappeared from the room, giving the brother's some privacy.

"Thank you, Dean." Sam said in his ear, still squeezing him. "I wanted to wait for you, so you could be here for the mating. But Gabriel and Cas thought it would be safer for us all if I was cleansed as soon as possible."

"The cleansing, right," Dean echoed, remembering the other options. He pushed Sam off. "And hey, if you get your rocks off on wings and superpowers who am I to judge?"

Sam laughed. "That'd be pretty hypocritical of you, considering."

Dean pretended he didn't understand. "You critiquing my romantic conquests, Sammy?"

"Well, there have been some winners in the past, " Sam muttered. "And I admit I wouldn't have pegged Castiel as your type. He's a little quiet, a little nerdy, but he obviously loves you."

"He's got a funny way of showing it," Dean growled, breaking his self imposed promise of not talking about it.

Sam sighed. "Dean, he did exactly what you would do in his situation. He tried to sacrifice himself to keep someone he loved - loves - safe and happy."

"Loving and leaving me was supposed to make me happy?" Dean asked, wincing when he realized what he'd just said.

Sam smirked, but refrained from laughing in his big brother's stupid romantic face. "No, he put you somewhere safe and then came to get me. Only by the time Balthazar told him where we were and he figured out I was in no danger, you were missing."

Dean tipped his head, confused. "Come again?"

"Come on," Sam said gesturing deeper in this house. "Let's grab some beers. I'll fill you in."

***

Gabriel poked his head into the room hours later with a quick, "Castiel's on his way."

Sam nodded his head. "Dean..." he started.

Dean waved him off. "I hear you Sammy."

"Just," Sam sighed, "just remember what I said. He was trying to do right by you - by us both - and he hasn't stopped looking for you since he arrived."

Dean nodded. "I believe you Sam. I just don't know if it'll be enough. I won't until I can feel him again."

Sam smirked. "So you're going to feel him up to see if he's sincere."

"I meant through the bond, smartass. I don't have to touch him for that," Dean muttered. Sam didn't answer, and when Dean looked up his little brother was staring at him. "What?"

"Until we mated, Gabriel and I had to be touching to get anything from each other," Sam explained. He smiled slyly. "That must be some profound bond you two have."

"Sammy," Dean whined, embarrassed.

Sam smirked and said, "Some might even say it's a match made in Heaven."

Dean groaned. "Get out of here, bitch."

"Jerk," Sam answered automatically before turning serious again. "Give him a chance. Whatever happens, this is your home now." Sam stood up and paused at the door. "But you know..."

"It's his too," Dean finished, unprompted.

He nodded. "We'll make it work," Sam promised. Then he smiled, "but it'd be easier if you'd pull your head out of your ass and skipped right to the makeup sex."

Dean threw the first thing that came to hand at him, which turned out to be a bowl of M&Ms.

Sam ducked out the door and the bowl missed, but it made a satisfying crash against the wall as colored candy flew every direction.

"You're cleaning that up," Sam shouted from the hall.

Dean ignored him, clearing the possible landing site by standing in a shadowed corner. And if that gave him a slight tactical advantage of a split second before Cas became aware of him, so be it.

Cas appeared almost directly in the center of the room with a painfully familiar whooshing sound. He was facing away from him, but it amazed Dean how much he could read in the tired slump of Cas's shoulders even before the bond kicked back in from proximity.

The full force of Cas's feelings slammed into him, raw and almost too intense without Cas deliberately filtering them for Dean's sake. Pain - agony - regret, loneliness, and such despair that Dean was halfway across the room to ease it away before he realized he was moving.

He could see the second Cas got hit with his feelings in return - although even he wasn't sure what they were, already confused and unsettled even before they got buried in the onslaught of Cas's pain.

Cas spun around so quickly his trench coat billowed around him as he moved. Dean, who had seconds ago been intent on reaching Cas, paused inches from his goal.

"Hey, Cas," he said quietly, self consciously smiling at the angel.

"Hello, Dean," Cas answered back immediately as if no time at all had passed since the last time he'd said those exact same two words. Fear and longing smacked into Dean so hard that he literally rocked back on his heels with it.

Fuck it he decided and went with his first instinct, pulling Cas against his chest and holding him so tight that no force on Earth or Heaven had a chance of removing Cas from him again.

Cas made a soft, broken noise and Dean could feel Cas's surprise at himself for making it. Then Cas's arms came up to circle Dean's waist and he buried his face in Dean's neck.

They stood there for an unknown eternity while Dean carefully touched each every part of Castiel he could reach without releasing him and soothed each hurt and sorry emotion Cas sent him with as much forgiveness and understanding as he could muster through his still raw feelings of betrayal.

Eventually, Cas lifted his face away just enough to say, "I'm sorry. I did what I thought was best, but I was wrong to make that decision for you."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, don't think I'm not gonna have some words about that later." Cas's face fell but he nodded. Dean rolled his eyes. "I forgive you, okay? You were stupid, and you were wrong, but you're never ever going to do it again."

Cas nodded again. "I do not believe I could survive being separated from you a second time." And the thing of it was? Cas meant it. Dean could see it in his face, feel it in the hollowness he was only just starting to fill with his presence. "I made you a promise the last time we were together."

The mating bond. Dean nodded. "I remember."

"If you'll still have me. I would be honored to be your mate." Cas was radiating worry and hope and love, and Dean couldn't figure out why Cas could possibly doubt him. He wasn't the one who'd left.

He pulled back to cup Cas's face in his hands. "Listen up, Cas, cause this might be the only time you hear it," Dean said, "Out loud," he added, thinking of how little he could or wanted to hide via the bond. "I love you Castiel, and I'm gonna bond your feathery ass to me for life, so you can never ever run away from me again. Okay?"

Cas smiled his ridiculous half smile. "I'm looking forward to it." Love, pure and unconditional, radiated from Cas. Dean took a deep breath and concentrated on pushing the same thing back to him.

Cas gasped and pulled Dean in with a strong hand on the small of his back for a warm welcoming kiss. Dean opened to him without hesitation, drinking him in like he'd been lost in the desert and Cas was water. Which, yeah, that's exactly what if felt like.

Dean was just beginning to think that the couch was about to be christened in a way guaranteed to make Sam bitchface at him when they were interrupted.

"Please understand that I'm very happy for you when I say this," Sam said, standing in the doorway with one arm draped across Gabriel's shoulders, "but, ewww, please stop."

Cas laughed, loud and joyful, the sound making Dean laugh as well, unable to contain his happiness. "Forgive me," he said, not sounding sorry at all. And, Dean noted, not releasing Dean from his arms. Not that Dean was complaining. "I forgot where I was."

"I am pretty distracting," Dean offered.

"Yes, yes," Gabriel said, "Look how happy and in love you are. It's adorable, really, but I'd like to get on with the public portion of the mating ceremony so I can take Sammy back to bed and ravage him."

Dean shuddered and wrinkled his nose. "Too much information, Gabe."

"Says the man who's attempting to dry hump my brother in my living room."

Dean widened his eyes and put on his best impression of innocence. "I was gonna use lube."

Sam's bitchface was epic. "Dean," he whined, making both Dean and Gabriel laugh.

"Dean," Cas said quietly. Dean turned back to him, curious as to why Cas had turned suddenly serious on him. "It's time."

"Time?" Dean knew exactly what Cas was saying but sue him if he wanted to hear the words from the angels own lips, especially after the little abandonment act he'd had to live through.

"To…" Cas's forehead scrunched up in thought, making Dean want to run a soothing had over the wrinkles there. "…'bond my feathery ass to you for life.' And longer," Cas added.

Part of Dean thought maybe that should have sent him screaming for the hills, but he couldn't find it in himself to dread an eternity with Cas. In fact, "Sounds perfect."

Masterpost

***
The complete list of my Supernatural fiction can be found here.