It was the summer of 2003; we were walking back into the locker room from the YMCA pool when we spotted a baby red panda perched on a bench. “What an adorable Red Panda” you said to me. Nodding my head in agreement, we both walked toward the panda, when suddenly, a large, grotesque, fanged, indigo, monster appeared from the showers and screamed at us “DO NOT TOUCH THE PANDA IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!” Frightened, we scurried away, back toward the entrance of the locker room. “Wait!” I said to you “Lily, we can’t leave that sweet little red panda there to die at the clutches of that evil monster!” “What can we do? That monster would surely eat us if we try to fight it.” “You’re right…but we have to try! DO you have ANY ideas???” “I have one…but…. I don’t know…” “Oh come on Lily! Tell me! It might work!” “Alright we can…” I remember smiling at your outrageous idea, and we set to work. In 2 minutes time we somehow made a female version of the large, grotesque, fanged, indigo, monster…complete with ruby red lips and outrageous eyelashes…out of cardboard paper, a paper clip, and several specially placed pieces of cloth. We quietly slipped back into the locker room holding up our creation. And upon seeing the little red Panda actually IN the hands of the beast made us act quickly. Speaking in the most monster-like voice you could you said to the monster, “Hello, sweet thing…. why don’t you put down that little panda your holding, and get your hands on 100% woman?” Drooling and dribbling the monster relinquished his grasp on the small creature and scurried over to embrace our female cardboard creation. Upon reaching the “girl monster”, we took out our guns and shot the mutha effer in the face. Thus proving violence solves everything. We then swooped up the adorable Red Panda, and headed home, leaving the large, grotesque, fanged, indigo, monster in a mass of blood and gore on the locker room floor at the YMCA.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2008-10-10 05:12 am (UTC)“What an adorable Red Panda” you said to me.
Nodding my head in agreement, we both walked toward the panda, when suddenly, a large, grotesque, fanged, indigo, monster appeared from the showers and screamed at us “DO NOT TOUCH THE PANDA IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!”
Frightened, we scurried away, back toward the entrance of the locker room.
“Wait!” I said to you “Lily, we can’t leave that sweet little red panda there to die at the clutches of that evil monster!”
“What can we do? That monster would surely eat us if we try to fight it.”
“You’re right…but we have to try! DO you have ANY ideas???”
“I have one…but…. I don’t know…”
“Oh come on Lily! Tell me! It might work!”
“Alright we can…”
I remember smiling at your outrageous idea, and we set to work.
In 2 minutes time we somehow made a female version of the large, grotesque, fanged, indigo, monster…complete with ruby red lips and outrageous eyelashes…out of cardboard paper, a paper clip, and several specially placed pieces of cloth.
We quietly slipped back into the locker room holding up our creation.
And upon seeing the little red Panda actually IN the hands of the beast made us act quickly.
Speaking in the most monster-like voice you could you said to the monster, “Hello, sweet thing…. why don’t you put down that little panda your holding, and get your hands on 100% woman?”
Drooling and dribbling the monster relinquished his grasp on the small creature and scurried over to embrace our female cardboard creation.
Upon reaching the “girl monster”, we took out our guns and shot the mutha effer in the face.
Thus proving violence solves everything.
We then swooped up the adorable Red Panda, and headed home, leaving the large, grotesque, fanged, indigo, monster in a mass of blood and gore on the locker room floor at the YMCA.