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lilyleia78Yes, I did say that I'll be busy for awhile. But before that happens, let me flood your flists! ^_^ ♥
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natsuko1978 has started a comm on LJ for WIP help and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
sg_prompts is hosting WIPs for commenting/feedback. So I thought I'd do one for each fandom. For the record, if anyone has help/suggestions/ideas/chocolate bribes to make me work faster, that would be awesome. Also, if anyone wants to take an idea and run with it/comment fic on it that would be awesome-er (what? It's a word) and wouldn't prevent me from continuing mine.
Plus, I get to test crossposting with cuts. ::crosses fingers::
I had read a couple of fics with Jack and Daniel together while Sha're was still alive, and I didn't know how to feel about that. I hate cheating fics, but there are so many special circumstances with Jack/Daniel/Sha're. I began this as a way to get work through my feelings. I don't know how to finish this one; and in retrospect, I'm not happy with the angst-to-sap ratio.
“It’s different you know.”
Jack didn’t bother to turn around from his position on the couch. He’d been wondering when Daniel was going to show up. He laughed hollowly.
“Why is it different Daniel? Because Drey’auc had reason to believe Teal’c was dead? Because she was trying to protect her son? Or…” he bit off the rest of his angry retort when he turned and saw the look of sheer misery on Daniel’s face. He didn’t want to punish Daniel. He wanted to punish himself.
He never should have let this happen. He’d been burying these feelings for years, and it would have been better for them all if they had stayed hidden. Jack laughed bitterly at the image of Daniel in full-archeologist mode digging up his lost emotions. But that was blaming Daniel again, and this was his own fault. He knew Daniel was taken and could never really be his. It was all only a fantasy. And that fantasy had the potential to destroy them both.
“Actually,” Daniel’s voice, carefully neutral, pulled him from his inner torment. “I meant it’s different because Drey’auc never cared about Fro’tak. It was always a matter of convenience…a matter of protection.”
Jack made no response as Daniel sat down on the opposite end of the couch. Daniel studied Jack’s face for a few moments before continuing. “If we find Sha’re…”
“When,” Jack corrected automatically. Daniel remained silent for so long that Jack was forced to look over at the linguist.
When Daniel had his full attention he repeated, “IF we find Sha’re, it will be different.”
Jack wondered when Daniel had lost the faith and mentally chalked up another mark in his Ways I’ve Failed Daniel List. It would go right under Seduced a Married Man. Well, there was one way he could do right by his Daniel. And he’d do it if it killed them both.
“Of course it’ll be different. You don’t have to…” Jack trailed off, uncertain how to phrase his thoughts without being a jerk. Screw it. “Sha’re doesn’t have to know anything’s happened. “It was…” Jack wanted to say it was nothing. That it meant nothing, but the lie wouldn’t come. “There’s really no reason to burden her with our foolishness,” Jack said instead, with forced light-heartedness.
Too bad Daniel could see right through him. Those blue eyes bore right into Jack’s heart. Daniel slid the length of the couch and turned sideways so that his knees were pressed into Jack’s thigh. Jack could feel the thrill of even that small contact and hated himself for it.
Daniel lifted on had to Jack’s cheek and brushed his thumb over Jack’s bottom lip, unconsciously licking his own. Jack knew that look, knew that gesture. In a sudden panic, he realized that Daniel was about to say something that would change everything, take away all pretense of a one-time casual encounter. He wanted to stop him. He wanted to urge him on. He didn’t have a chance to do either.
“Yes there is,” Daniel said. Jack took a minute to trace the thread of the conversation back. “There’s a very good reason.” Those words managed to convey torment, confusion, longing, and…love. And there it was - all Jack’s dreams and nightmares laid in his lap. Daniel loved him.
“Oh.” It was the only thing Jack could think to say. It was Oh shit. What do we do now and Oh Daniel, I love you and Oh boy, how do I lose this now? In the shorthand born of countless missions and one precious night on this couch, Daniel understood.
When Jack opened his mouth to say…well, he didn’t know what…Daniel stopped him with a hand gently over his mouth. Jack kissed it instinctively and was rewarded with a bittersweet smile.
Daniels hands moved restlessly over Jack’s face as they talked, mapping his face as he might map the carvings of a long-dead civilization.
“I may not have been looking for it, but I did make a vow. And I still love her. Just like I know you still love Sarah.”
“Different,” Jack muttered. He would always love Sarah. They were united by their history, their joy, and their great loss. But Daniel knew Jack in ways Sarah wasn’t allowed to understand. Not her fault, but it created distance anyway.
“Yes,” Daniel agreed. “It’s different. It always is. That was sort of my point.”
“I wouldn’t choose her now.” It popped out before Jack’s brain could object. It was a stupid, selfish, and childish thing to say. It was also true. Daniel pulled away. He didn’t go far, but the inch between them suddenly felt like miles to Jack. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair.”
“Nothing about this is fair.” Daniel sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. Jack hated that, hated being the cause of that defensive pose. He turned around and moved back into Daniel’s personal space, unwrapped Daniel’s arms and rewrapped them around himself. Daniel bemusedly allowed Jack to wiggle around until his back was comfortably pressed against the archaeologist’s chest.
“How do you think Sha’re feels about polygamy?” Jack joked weakly, miserably. He immediately regretted it when Daniel tensed around him.
“No,” he said sharply.
Jack sighed internally. He was really bad at this. Or maybe there was no way to be good at this. What was the appropriate thing to say to the married man you were in love with? It seemed apologizes were all he had to offer. “Sorry. I guess you wouldn’t want to share her.”
“No,” Daniel repeated slowly. “I mean I don’t know.” Jack felt the other man shrug behind him. “I’ve never considered it.” Strong arms tightened around him. “I don’t want to share you.”
There was silence then, but Jack didn’t break it. He could practically feel Daniel sorting through something in his head. He’d clue Jack in when and if he wanted him to know. Meanwhile Jack concentrated on the sound of the heart beating into his back, and the rise and fall of the chest containing it. He amused himself by trying to match his breathing to Daniel’s. If he hadn’t been, he may not have noticed the slight increase in the respiration just before Daniel spoke again.
“I sound like a selfish jerk,” Daniel noted with the air of one commenting on the weather. “I can’t be yours completely while there is any hope, but I don’t want to share you even theoretically.”
Jack didn’t know what to say to that. This hurt. Everything about the situation was wrong and unfair to them all, and he didn’t know how long he could take it.
natsuko1978 has started a comm on LJ for WIP help and sg_prompts is hosting WIPs for commenting/feedback. So I thought I'd do one for each fandom. For the record, if anyone has help/suggestions/ideas/chocolate bribes to make me work faster, that would be awesome. Also, if anyone wants to take an idea and run with it/comment fic on it that would be awesome-er (what? It's a word) and wouldn't prevent me from continuing mine. Plus, I get to test crossposting with cuts. ::crosses fingers::
I had read a couple of fics with Jack and Daniel together while Sha're was still alive, and I didn't know how to feel about that. I hate cheating fics, but there are so many special circumstances with Jack/Daniel/Sha're. I began this as a way to get work through my feelings. I don't know how to finish this one; and in retrospect, I'm not happy with the angst-to-sap ratio.
“It’s different you know.”
Jack didn’t bother to turn around from his position on the couch. He’d been wondering when Daniel was going to show up. He laughed hollowly.
“Why is it different Daniel? Because Drey’auc had reason to believe Teal’c was dead? Because she was trying to protect her son? Or…” he bit off the rest of his angry retort when he turned and saw the look of sheer misery on Daniel’s face. He didn’t want to punish Daniel. He wanted to punish himself.
He never should have let this happen. He’d been burying these feelings for years, and it would have been better for them all if they had stayed hidden. Jack laughed bitterly at the image of Daniel in full-archeologist mode digging up his lost emotions. But that was blaming Daniel again, and this was his own fault. He knew Daniel was taken and could never really be his. It was all only a fantasy. And that fantasy had the potential to destroy them both.
“Actually,” Daniel’s voice, carefully neutral, pulled him from his inner torment. “I meant it’s different because Drey’auc never cared about Fro’tak. It was always a matter of convenience…a matter of protection.”
Jack made no response as Daniel sat down on the opposite end of the couch. Daniel studied Jack’s face for a few moments before continuing. “If we find Sha’re…”
“When,” Jack corrected automatically. Daniel remained silent for so long that Jack was forced to look over at the linguist.
When Daniel had his full attention he repeated, “IF we find Sha’re, it will be different.”
Jack wondered when Daniel had lost the faith and mentally chalked up another mark in his Ways I’ve Failed Daniel List. It would go right under Seduced a Married Man. Well, there was one way he could do right by his Daniel. And he’d do it if it killed them both.
“Of course it’ll be different. You don’t have to…” Jack trailed off, uncertain how to phrase his thoughts without being a jerk. Screw it. “Sha’re doesn’t have to know anything’s happened. “It was…” Jack wanted to say it was nothing. That it meant nothing, but the lie wouldn’t come. “There’s really no reason to burden her with our foolishness,” Jack said instead, with forced light-heartedness.
Too bad Daniel could see right through him. Those blue eyes bore right into Jack’s heart. Daniel slid the length of the couch and turned sideways so that his knees were pressed into Jack’s thigh. Jack could feel the thrill of even that small contact and hated himself for it.
Daniel lifted on had to Jack’s cheek and brushed his thumb over Jack’s bottom lip, unconsciously licking his own. Jack knew that look, knew that gesture. In a sudden panic, he realized that Daniel was about to say something that would change everything, take away all pretense of a one-time casual encounter. He wanted to stop him. He wanted to urge him on. He didn’t have a chance to do either.
“Yes there is,” Daniel said. Jack took a minute to trace the thread of the conversation back. “There’s a very good reason.” Those words managed to convey torment, confusion, longing, and…love. And there it was - all Jack’s dreams and nightmares laid in his lap. Daniel loved him.
“Oh.” It was the only thing Jack could think to say. It was Oh shit. What do we do now and Oh Daniel, I love you and Oh boy, how do I lose this now? In the shorthand born of countless missions and one precious night on this couch, Daniel understood.
When Jack opened his mouth to say…well, he didn’t know what…Daniel stopped him with a hand gently over his mouth. Jack kissed it instinctively and was rewarded with a bittersweet smile.
Daniels hands moved restlessly over Jack’s face as they talked, mapping his face as he might map the carvings of a long-dead civilization.
“I may not have been looking for it, but I did make a vow. And I still love her. Just like I know you still love Sarah.”
“Different,” Jack muttered. He would always love Sarah. They were united by their history, their joy, and their great loss. But Daniel knew Jack in ways Sarah wasn’t allowed to understand. Not her fault, but it created distance anyway.
“Yes,” Daniel agreed. “It’s different. It always is. That was sort of my point.”
“I wouldn’t choose her now.” It popped out before Jack’s brain could object. It was a stupid, selfish, and childish thing to say. It was also true. Daniel pulled away. He didn’t go far, but the inch between them suddenly felt like miles to Jack. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair.”
“Nothing about this is fair.” Daniel sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. Jack hated that, hated being the cause of that defensive pose. He turned around and moved back into Daniel’s personal space, unwrapped Daniel’s arms and rewrapped them around himself. Daniel bemusedly allowed Jack to wiggle around until his back was comfortably pressed against the archaeologist’s chest.
“How do you think Sha’re feels about polygamy?” Jack joked weakly, miserably. He immediately regretted it when Daniel tensed around him.
“No,” he said sharply.
Jack sighed internally. He was really bad at this. Or maybe there was no way to be good at this. What was the appropriate thing to say to the married man you were in love with? It seemed apologizes were all he had to offer. “Sorry. I guess you wouldn’t want to share her.”
“No,” Daniel repeated slowly. “I mean I don’t know.” Jack felt the other man shrug behind him. “I’ve never considered it.” Strong arms tightened around him. “I don’t want to share you.”
There was silence then, but Jack didn’t break it. He could practically feel Daniel sorting through something in his head. He’d clue Jack in when and if he wanted him to know. Meanwhile Jack concentrated on the sound of the heart beating into his back, and the rise and fall of the chest containing it. He amused himself by trying to match his breathing to Daniel’s. If he hadn’t been, he may not have noticed the slight increase in the respiration just before Daniel spoke again.
“I sound like a selfish jerk,” Daniel noted with the air of one commenting on the weather. “I can’t be yours completely while there is any hope, but I don’t want to share you even theoretically.”
Jack didn’t know what to say to that. This hurt. Everything about the situation was wrong and unfair to them all, and he didn’t know how long he could take it.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 04:42 am (UTC)wow, woman it's already an angsty little slice of life. but with genuine emotions (not too sappy). Will ponder a bit. It definitely leaves one wanting to find a "theoretical" solution for all of them. Nice.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 05:23 am (UTC)It's less sappy b/c I left out a hundred words of OTT sap at the end.
As soon as the thought came to him, he knew exactly how long he could take it. “I’ll take whatever you can give for as long as you can give it. I won’t ask for a fraction or a second more.” (This doesn't sound like Jack to me. The sentiment's okay, but the words are wrong)
“Yes you will,” Daniel breathed into his left ear, “And you’ll deserve it.”
“No, there are no guarantees in life and even less for us. If there were no wife or military between us, we’d still have no promise of eternity. Nothing is forever.” (see above note)
Daniel reached one hand down to lace with Jack’s and let the other splay across the other man’s pounding heart. “Some things are.”
I do want to find the 'happy' ending here, and I don't know how. I don't want Jack to feel like a consolation prize when Sha're dies, and I'm not sure that there's a way to avoid that. Maybe this one doesn't get the neat ending with a shiny feel-good bow on top; that would explain why I can't seem to finish it.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 05:31 am (UTC)There may not be a shiny happy bow, but I think there's a bow in there nonetheless. Will set aside some brain cells tomorrow. ♥ you.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 06:36 pm (UTC)::waits patiently::
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Date: 2009-05-03 06:43 pm (UTC)Then I'll direct my considerable (snort) brainpower toward your shiny bow. ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 06:48 pm (UTC)And of course I wanna see it!
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Date: 2009-05-03 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 08:31 pm (UTC)Yay for us (oh, I mean yay for you *g*)
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Date: 2009-05-03 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 06:52 pm (UTC)look how happy they are ---->
Date: 2009-05-03 07:01 pm (UTC)Jack seems practical (pragmatic?) enough that he's learned (from Daniel, even) that sometimes you'll just never know the what ifs. He put charlie behind him, and that's chock full of we'll never knows, but lacking an opportunity to change anything, I think he'd accept his good fortune. (destiny? sorry, OTPd a little there)
no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 11:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 01:55 pm (UTC)A "wait and see" approach, or a "let's think about this some more tomorrow," could work.
The only thing they could really resolve here and now, is whether they're going to continue to have sex. And since they're in love it wouldn't be entirely dastardly if the answer was 'yes.'
no subject
Date: 2009-05-03 06:47 pm (UTC)If I go further (even one more episode) it gets more complicated. At this point, Daniel's been apart from his wife at least as long as he was with her and they have no way of knowing if she's even still alive, so maybe it's easier to 'justify' this to themselves. But once they know she's still alive and have physical proof of her torment it'll be more difficult.
Bascially, I'm saying I think perhaps a paragraph or two to wrap this up before moving on to happier pastures is the way to go. Thanks for your thoughts.